Tag Archives: peace

cluttered room

Do You Cry Over Spilled Milk?

As a young adult renting my home, I wasn’t very concerned with how it looked. Once I owned a house, however, I took great pride in how clean, organized and decorated it was. My husband built our first home, so perhaps my experience of taking ownership is more drastic than yours, but suddenly I cared.
A lot.
A simple mess–and since everything was new, that could be anything–caused this momma to go into an unkind panic as she dashed to clean it up. We had worked so hard to create our home, so there were strong emotions attached to my fear that it could all be ruined!

Even if you don’t own your home, you may also have strong, emotional reactions over “spilled milk.” Why? Because our homes are a representation of ourselves and we want our lives to be in order. Who doesn’t want their home to be the place to relax, unwind and be at peace. In fact, our whole family should be able to enjoy our home as a safe haven.

Unfortunately, our homes are not always havens.

If cleanliness is next to godliness, then certainly clutter creates the opposite.

Cleanliness is far more important to some of us than it is to others, but no matter what your style of housekeeping, life often interrupts our neat little corner of the world and suddenly junk-drawers are jamming, the refrigerator is sticky, the oven is smoking and the crumbs on the floor will bring out the unkindness!

For me, it’s a bit of a catch 22: When I’m happy–and busy–I leave a trail behind my whirlwind and it isn’t long before the mess starts spreading to my heart and I get irritable from the lack of ability to keep order or find anything. When I’m irritable and “unkind”, I clean like a mad woman. When my life is ugly, it helps me find my “godliness” by making my house look pretty again.

How you keep your home is a big indicator of your Img.ID:

  • C: Classic: is organized in her mind, but her counters, desks and drawers may be a mess. She knows where things are, though, so don’t move anything on her! Her home is often unfinished or under furnished because she wants things done properly but has trouble making decisions or accepting help.
  • N: Natural tends to be unorganized. Her home may be dirty, dusty and run down, but she’s so laid back that she may not even notice the mess, and it certainly doesn’t bother her.
  • D: Dramatic is an extremest and her home is no exception. Where she lives may be either completely out of control with piles of laundry and dishes, etc. or exceptionally organized, immaculate and embellished.
  • I: Ingénue is full of compassion and creativity, which may be very evident in her beautifully decorated home. She tends to take good care of her home, but she may become overwhelmed by the work. Finding a system for the upkeep will help any of us, but especially the Ingénue.
  • R: Romantic may also be overwhelmed by her chores, but this girl actually enjoys housework. She especially loves baking. Creating an atmosphere that makes others comfortable is actually her expertise. It is important, however, that she guards her heart when her efforts are not acknowledged.
  • G: Gamine likes things in order and cleanliness is very important to her. She tends to have no problem delegating her responsibilities. If she has no help and cannot afford to hire some, she desperately needs a system to follow in order to keep up the house without getting grouchy about it.

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

To take my FREE quiz and learn your Image Identity, click here.

confident beauty image coaching

As a young woman, I thought of cleaning as an unfair expectation put on the less-than-gender. I resented having to pick up after my brothers, and later: husband and children. I compared my endless efforts to their seemingly simple home lives. After work/school, I was the one to make dinner, clean it up, give baths and prepare lunches for the next day while they got to relax or play.

Then I realized that I actually like to clean and organize and that having the house in order was something I wanted, but my family really didn’t care if it was messy or not. No wonder my requests for help seemed so oppressive to them! Truth be told, my mom’s request felt the same way–and I suppose that was why I thought I hated the chore.

A change of mindset changes everything.

Once I realized that I actually enjoy cleaning, I stoped nagging everyone else to help me, which truly changed the atmosphere of my home. Not only did my family stop running away from me, but since I was cleaning up with a cheerful heart, they were happy to pitch in now and then. I no longer looked at the household chores as an unfair job; instead I saw them as an enjoyable ministry to the ones I love the most. I began to create ways to make the chores interactive and teachable for my kids with the hope that, one day, cleaning would be fun for them as well.

My greatest creation was the game created to keep me from nagging my kids to put things away, while keeping them in shape.  

The Buy Back Bin: a rubber made placed out of reach in a closet used to place toys, jackets, sox, etc. found on the floor. When requested, the item may be "bought back" for the price of (10) push ups or sit ups (the child’s choice).


So how do you feel about cleaning?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on what you do to create a calm and enjoyable home for your family. Do you take full responsibility for the housework or is it a shared effort? If so, have you found any fun ways to orchestrate the chores in a way that does not cause your kids to feel oppressed by the work?

***** 

As an author and speaker, my passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, I love to use my profession, along with my experiences and training as a Biblical life-coach to help others struggling. If you want to make difference, too, would you help share this blog and connect with me on Facebook, Twitter Pinterest, Linked In, Goodreads 

If you would like to consider having a private or group Supreme MakeOver Image Assessment, please contact me right away! Visit https://catrinawelch.com for more information.

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New Beginnings

There is something about a fresh start that is truly inspirational. The pandemic has stretched us all but, somehow, the start of a new year–even if it still requires facial coverings and social distancing–is a breath of fresh air. 

2020 changed our perspective on life in many ways. Between the shut downs, protests, politics, loss and threats of sickness, we have all done a little soul searching. Although most of us would typically be setting goals and making resolutions right now, it seems that, this January, we simply want to start over. 

Change doesn’t really happen without new knowledge. What have you learned about yourself and those you love?
How you handle restrictions is a big indicator of your
Img.ID:
C: Get the facts (The Classic wants to know the statistics and follow the rules.)
N: Compromise (The Natural sees both sides of the problem and wants peace between everyone.)
D: Responsive (The Dramatic feels the factors deeply and is passionate about her convictions.)
I: Burdened (The Ingénue takes responsibility for her mistakes, and often for the mistakes of others.)
R: Shut down (The Romantic doesn’t want to be pressured, she’d rather pretend this is not happening.)
G: Cantankerous (The Gamine is one to reinforce the rules or completely rebel against them, depending on her view point.) 

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

My husband and I are renovating a 1830s Captain’s House, which we are living in. As a builder, Ron knows that most people find it vey difficult to live in the middle of the construction. I get it, too. It’s messy and it’s constricting. I’m grateful to have had a little break while my daughter has been home for the holidays. But as soon as she goes back to college, we will begin the next phase of gutting, digging, lifting, replacing walls, floors, windows, siding… and this time we will have to go without a kitchen for a long time. 

But I’m excited. It’s fun to be part of the process and to witness the progress. I’m sure it’s easier for us than it is for his clients, because we understand the process and we think of the work as our stay-at-home-entertainment. The challenge is our exhilaration. 

I’m trying to think of the pandemic in the same way. 

I don’t like the CDC guidelines. Wearing masks and keeping distant feel too much like rejection and I’m tiered of being held back from connecting with those I love. 

I realize that the pandemic may hold us back from having our social lives for a bit longer, but I’m ready to for a new beginning with my attitude. I want to somehow enjoy the Covid-challenge like I do the renovation.

An attitude change is really just a change in perspective.

Most of us understand the virus’s threat at this point. We’ve witnessed the potential results and we’ve learned to face the challenge of avoiding the invisible enemy. All the restrictions have broken us down to the very basics of who we are, like a caterpillar stuck in a cocoon. We don’t need to be like a client frustrated with the mess of a renovation, instead, we can choose to enjoy the process of change and consider the challenge our exhilaration. 

We will not be defeated. God, help us endure to the end and develop in us the strength and maturity, so that when we are finally allowed to break free, we can soar like a butterfly–with no masks, and BE who we were designed to BE.

One thing I’ve learned from past construction projects is that when the house is done, people consider you “lucky” and so do you! We call it revisionist history. Somehow the hard parts get forgotten. 

One day we will tell the stories of 2020 as if it were all a great adventure. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to enjoy the rest of this adventure while it’s still happening because soon all we will remember is how lucky we were to be “stuck at home.”

How has the pandemic changed–or revealed to you–who you are? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Connect with me on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  or visit my site at https://catrinawelch.com.

The Only True Source of Confidence

Life may never be the same after this pandemic, but it sure is good to get back into the salons, even if it’s so much less personal! It’s just easier to cope with all the changes when our nails are finished and our hair is good, isn’t it?

As women, when we feel beautiful, we feel confident.

Achieving beauty is one way we attempt to become confident. Success, wisdom, popularity and strength are other powerful sources for self-esteem. Yet, the moment someone outshines, undermines, devalues or corrects us, we will likely feel defeated, diminished, devalued. 

Is there anything that will truly satisfy our need to feel good about ourselves?

I believe there is one true and lasting source of confidence, and it is Continue reading The Only True Source of Confidence








3 Tips for Handling Stay at Home Stress

When I’m stressed,  I shut down and shut up.

The term tongue-tied may mean one thing to you, but to me, it is a perfect metaphor for how I feel when I am hurting. Even when I want to talk, the words are held captive. It doesn’t matter how quiet I am, however, my body language still  speaks loudly. Usually what it’s saying is,

“Leave me alone!”

And then I feel hurt when people avoid me–especially my husband, of course. I want others to read my mind not my face. I want them to ask and then wait (a really long time if necessary). Then I want them to judge my heart and not my confusing words. And I want them to be on my side, even if they have a completely opposing opinion.

I want, I want, I want.

When we are stressed, we are selfish.

Continue reading 3 Tips for Handling Stay at Home Stress








Confidently Content

I grew up in an extravagant home on Cape Cod. When I was eleven, my family made a major change and pursued a secluded life in Maine. The adventure in the deep woods without the luxuries  we were used to reformed the character of each of us. Since we had nothing and knew no one, we cultivated tight and true relationships with one another. It was then that our faith became a true and important part of our lives.

I suppose, in a way, we were self-quarantined. Continue reading Confidently Content








Here’s How Wearing a Hat Can Help you Defeat Depression

There is a secret battle that wages in every human heart.

Secret because we don’t want to talk about it. And secret because the silence makes us feel so alone in the fight. But we are not alone! The war for a healthy self-image may hit us socially, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually, (you name it). There will be some area of our lives that each of us will feel that we are not enough–or that we are too much. Our confidence will be attacked in one way or another. Like arrows shot from an enemy, the attack may be harsh words from a close friend, or the rude attitude of stranger.  It could be a simple failure and our own thoughts that knocks our confidence to the pit.

Self-talk is the key to winning the battle

Many Christians make it a habit to “pray-on the full armor of God” in order to prepare for such battles. As we get dressed, we ask God to give us the “breastplate of Righteousness” knowing that our King’s emblem is our true identity and that His goodness covers our failures and protects all our heart. We imagine securing the “belt of Truth,” as we trust that His promises are real, and He is greater than our fear. As we put on our shoes, we ask to be equipped to run, walk, stand, whatever His will, and that He will lead us with His peace. Before we start our day, we take up the “shield of faith,” knowing that fiery darts will come, but God is still who He says He is and He equips us to be more than conquerors. But victory doesn’t just come to those who believe, we must fight for what we believe. We must take the “sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God” and use it. (Ephesians 6)

eva-1437826-640x480Becoming warrior women who are confident (and beautiful!) is an adventure.

Continue reading Here’s How Wearing a Hat Can Help you Defeat Depression








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3 Reasons Beauty is Dangerous

Most women don’t have Confident Beauty because they compare themselves to other styles, but if you have ever been mistreated because of your appearance, you know that Image Issues are more complicated than that, because BEAUTY IS DANGEROUS.

Beauty is dangerous when it defeats us.

Maybe you HATE how you look because you compare your beauty to the models in the media and you feel you don’t measure up. Maybe men have been mean to you or taken advantage of your body. Perhaps it’s women who have mistreated you and tried to demean your beauty so that they feel better about themselves.  Continue reading 3 Reasons Beauty is Dangerous








The Power of Beauty

This is school vacation week in New England. Many families are getting away for a time of refreshing and renewal. A break from the bitter cold and brutal winds can give us strength to continue to endure our harsh winters. 

It’s not a bad idea to get a break from a mild winter like this one, either.

Vacations are refreshing, healing, comforting, why? Typically, it’s not just the break in routine that gives strength to the soul. Often it is the beauty that we surround ourselves with when we get away.

Snow laden ski slopes. 

Palm trees swaying in the gentle breeze.

Children laughing on the playgrounds. 

Continue reading The Power of Beauty








The Secret to Being Confident 

I suppose there will always be times in life when our confidence is under attack (especially when is your main ministry topic), but I feel like I’m “under gun” in every direction right now.

With the challenges that lie before me, I have become aware of one common denominator that seems to be the secret to overcoming all sorts of Confidence Conflicts: Continue reading The Secret to Being Confident 








Finding Hope in Difficult Times

As a woman who has faced many storms in life, I am often asked, “If God is so good, why doesn’t He keep you from these difficult circumstances?” My answer is, “He is so good that He keeps me through them.”

Storms happen

Storm:  a disturbed state of environment, marked by significant disruptions to normal conditions. A center of low pressure w/ system of high pressure surrounding it. Opposing forces create stormy weather.

Why should any of us think that life is not fair because there is a significant disruption in our environment? In my experience, the more turbulent a storm, the deeper my faith has grown. 

There is a certain sweetness that builds when we face difficulties without casting blame or comparing circumstances.

Continue reading Finding Hope in Difficult Times








Finding Balance When Life Changes

There is a balance between self-care and selfishness. Finding this balance will likely always be a challenge for most of us. I’m fifty-two years old, yet I, too, often feel the guilt of taking time for myself, especially now that I have slipped back into a self-sacrificing mommy mode. 

The “mommy-mode” of always putting others first is actually a beautiful thing when our heart is right.

To be “others-conscious” and put our family’s needs above our own is sweet and honorable. 

As long as our heart is.

Since my last post, I have been swept up in a tornado of drama and difficulties that tend to consume those of us who love an addict. The chaos and confusion isn’t new to me, but over the past years of my son’s addiction, I’ve found a way to continue with most aspects of my own life, no matter how out of control his was. This time, however, Continue reading Finding Balance When Life Changes








Raising Confident Kids

With the first hospital visit, adults begin “speaking life” over your baby: 

She’s beautiful!

He’s so big!

As children grow, we naturally announce and affirm each progression of their development:

Look how he holds his head up.

She took her first step!

A healthy self-esteem is encouraged. 

Every child comes into this world with the need to know their worth and understand their purpose. Naturally, they find their answers (right or wrong) from their environment and the things we teach them.

If you have  a healthy self-image then you will be better equipped to help your children avoid Image Issues.

But not necessarily.  Continue reading Raising Confident Kids