The Catch 22: Self-Talk vs. Feelings

IMG_1095One of my favorite things to do is to walk along the shores of Cape Cod with the waves crashing on my feet. I hear this is a great way to detox your body. For me, it’s a great way to detox my spirit. I especially find this time alone with God valuable when I am about to speak to a group of women about the Confidence Conflicts that so easily beset me.

As I was praying for this women I will be with this weekend, I felt compelled to collect white stones. There weren’t many and of the ones I found:

  • Some were buried in the sand, just barely showing their beauty.
  • Others were covered by other stones of different colors.
  • Some were pushed from the shoreline by the high tide, mingled with the dead crabs and caught in the seaweed.

If I spotted one in the crashing waves, I pursued it. Sometimes it took several attempts to grasp it in my hand because of the strong undertow. I felt a little silly about, but I couldn’t let one be lost. I was thinking of the many women who would be at this retreat and I in that moment, the stones represented their hearts.

  • Some women feel left out, alone in the dry heat buried in shame, or regret and they don’t know how to get out of the mess they are in.
  • Others are overwhelmed with everyone else’s responsibilities that have been laid on them. They want to find themselves, but they feel that others deserve more than they do.
  • Many have been pushed around, or complacency has moved them to unhealthy situations where they feel trapped in rubble, death and depression.
  • Many are trying to stay clean and pure, but the undercurrent of their lives is pulling them into feeling weak, worn and susceptible to going against their own convictions.

How we feel affects our self-talk. It’s awful hard to be confident when you feel ashamed, frustrated or worn out.

Our self-talk affects how we feel. It is possible to be confident in any situation when you remind yourself you are loved, wanted and valued.

I walked many beaches to collect enough stones for this retreat and as I did, I prayed, “God, remind your people of your unconditional love, help them to believe they are wanted and valued. Make them confident enough to let their heart stand out with beauty in the mist of their dark and dreary situations.”

I will give to each one a white stone, and on the stone will be engraved a new name that no one understands except the one who receives it. Revelations 2:17b


Catrina Welch is an inspirational author and speaker whose personal experience with overcoming rejection, betrayal and loss–as well as her expertise as a cosmetologist, image consultant and Biblical life-coach–is empowering women to BE and LET BE.

Her latest book, CONFIDENT BEAUTY: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, is now available in your favorite bookstores. Autographed copies of all her books are available on her website at