Tag Archives: Dramatic

The name of the Img.ID of the Exotic Beauty

The Nasty Nativity

I wonder if Mary was in nesting mode about this time 2000 years ago? I imagine that the innate desire to prepare for her baby was strong in the young mother’s heart as she traveled along the dusty road to Bethlehem.

Classics (like Marry)  desire orderly lives (even when it’s not); add the responsibility of a new dependent and they can become intense. We all can. Our babies need us to take care of certain matters like a clean environment, warm clothing, proper nutrition, comfort and compassion. As women, we are designed to meet those needs and when our hormones are completing the process of producing a newborn, our emotions follow suit. We start “nesting.”

When I had my first child I was disheveled and displaced, trying to make a home in my parents’ unfinished basement. I remember returning from the hospital to find my dad putting in a bathroom for me. At the time I didn’t appreciate his sacrifice of love as much as I should have. I now understand how much work that was for him and appreciate that he chosen to do it while I was away for a few day in order to spare me much of the mess. I certainly was grateful to have my own facilities but as a new mom who wanted her baby’s environment to be clean and calm, I’m afraid I focused more on the chaos than the blessing. The ironic part is that even if there was no construction going on, and my nest were perfect, the environment I gave my baby boy was far from “calm” because of all the chaos of my broken marriage.

Inner turmoil cannot produce a peaceful environment, no matter how perfect our exterior.

donkey-534906_640With the birth of the Christ child, we see that a peaceful spirit can, however, produce a perfect environment even in the midst of total chaos. I allowed all my stress to rob my peace, but Mary started going into labor while traveling on a smelly, boney donkey with dust stirring up in her face. When she arrived at her destination there was crowds of people too busy and concerned with themselves to even notice her desperate need for a place to give birth. I was ignorant and unappreciative to my generous parents, but I would have lost it on Joseph! The best he could provide for Mary was a bail of hay and a feeding troth! How would you respond if that was your hospital bed and the crib for your kid?

Most women want a "perfect little nest" for their newborns, but at other times in life, in order for you to be at peace, what is important to you?

C: Organization, respect (The Classic)

N: Comfort, simplicity (The Natural)

D: Excellence, esthetics (The Dramatic)

I: Creativity, compassion (The Ingénue)

R: Comfort, compassion (The Romantic)

G: Productivity, justice (The Gamine) 

Your desire is a big indicator of your Img.ID, click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

Mary (a Classic, who typically plans her future with detail) got through her chaotic entrance into motherhood and shared the experience with those who came to visit her. Classics are typically well educated and gain great social status. They are also very private, independent people who don’t always find it easy to be around those they do not relate to, so the fact that Mary even allowed nasty, unwanted social outcast (shepherds) to come into her space to visit her showed that she had a profound peace that surpasses all understanding.

That’s the love and grace of God.

That’s what makes the nasty nativity story so beautiful.

If you find yourself struggling with a chaotic life right now, I encourage you to seek peace and pursue it. There will always be times when things don’t go as we wish, but if we allow God to be involved, He can turn it into something beautiful.

*****

As an author and speaker, Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, Catrina now uses her profession, her own powerful stories and her training as a Biblical life-coach to reach the heart in a way that is relatable, encouraging and inspiring. Her message is balanced with both fashion and faith and is making a difference  in the lives of women and girls all over!  To be part of this movement, connect with her on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  and consider having her speak at your next event. Visit https://catrinawelch.com for more information.

The Secret to Decorating your Home for the Holidays

As you surf you social medias for ideas and inspiration to decorate your home, are you feeling pressured an overwhelmed by all the alternatives? Dressing your home can be just as intimidating as creating a beautiful wardrobe.

It can also be just as empowering.

Like Goldilocks, we may not know exactly what we want, but once we try it out, we are certain if it is “too hard” or “too soft.” It takes most of us many years of testing and trying before we find the style that is “just right” but once we do–wether it’s the style of our home or our clothing–we discover a certain peace and power that can be summed up in one word: CONFIDENCE.

You know when you meet a woman with confidence. She isn’t shy or timid, but she isn’t threatening or condescending, either. She isn’t showing off, nor is she hiding because she isn’t concerned with your thoughts about her. She is simply at peace with herself and that makes you feel at peace around her.

You know when you enter the home of a woman with confidence because you feel the same thing: peace. As you look around at how she has decorated her personal space, you understand her more. Whether it is open and inviting or quaint and intimate, her home (just like her wardrobe) should indicate her personality. If her style contradicts her character, her guests will not feel at ease in her home.

The secret is knowing who you are.

As you have been scrolling through Pintrest, how many times have you said, “I love that. But it’s not me.” You know you have found a style that suits you well when your heart jumps and you say, “oh, wow, that’s nice! I want to do that.” Once you find that perfect fit, the feeling of overwhelm drops and confidence rises up in you, empowering you with a peace that is able to enjoy other styles because it has found its own.

 

The style that makes your heart jump is a big indicator of your personal Image Identity:
imagejpeg_0-2C: Elegant, traditional (The Classic)

N: Rustic, simple (To the Natural)

D: Extravagant, exotic (The Dramatic)

I: Sentimental, sweet (The Ingénue)

R: Welcoming, nostalgic (The Romantic)

G: Fun, festive (The Gamine) 

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear, also, find me on Pinterest (I have one board for each of the 6 Img.IDs).

As you prepare to decorate your home for the holidays, remember that it takes time to discover your personal style (or “Img.ID”), so enjoy the process. We all start out like Goldilocks, testing and tasting everyone else’s style until we find our own, but we don’t have to be invasive or obsessive like she was by trespassing (thanks, Pinterest!). As your personal Img.ID is being slowly unveiled, be careful not to let your heart be stressed and striving. When you go to a house party this season, enjoy getting to know the host by observing the style of decorations. As you understand yourself more, you will be released from the trap of comparison. After all, if a rude and critical intruder can fall asleep in the home of three bears in the woods, then you, too, can let your guard down and rest in the home of another confident woman, because you will be one as well.

*****

As an author and speaker, Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, Catrina now uses her profession, her own powerful stories and her training as a Biblical life-coach to reach the heart in a way that is relatable, encouraging and inspiring. Her message is balanced with both fashion and faith and is making a difference  in the lives of women and girls all over!  To be part of this movement, connect with her on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  and consider having her speak at your next event. Visit https://catrinawelch.com for more information.

 

Acting Out Life’s Drama with Confident Faith

Whenever we face a personal crisis, it will become a public matter. The bigger the crisis, the broader the audience of eyes watching our drama. This is part of living in a news-driven, gossip-seeking society.

It’s also part of being human.

When I was going through my divorce, I hated this fact of life. It felt like criticism and condemnation. Human nature tends to feel the need to judge our mess, choose what they believe and pick a side, often without reconsidering the first story they heard.

When I lost my daughter, I eventually embraced the idea of having so many people watching our story because I knew that they loved and supported us. There was no judgment to be made–except by those who wanted to blame God, but few spoke to us that way since it was so obvious that God and His people were the ones carrying us through and giving us strength.

When my son’s addiction first came to light, I feared the fact that others were talking about it and watching us. Fear is not healthy or empowering; it is destructive and disabling. In may ways, the fear made the problem even worse.

Critical eyeToday’s drug issues are not as much of a stigmatism as they were five years ago, but the fear still runs rampant. Last week I blogged about the various ways we handle life’s ugly pits. Because of the responses I got, I know I need to continue on this scary journey of being vulnerable with my mess so that We all remember we are not alone.

People will always judge.

Don’t let the fear of someone else’s opinion rob your strength; choose to let it empower you. Consider what people say. If you see any truth in it, then bravely deal with it. Have a grateful heart; someone cared enough to speak up. No matter what their attitude was, their vision can broaden yours–if you chose not to allow pride blind you.

Let go of all the parts that are not true.

If they are completely wrong and rude, do not waist any more time or strength on their opinion. Let your frustration empower you to do what you need to do to deal with your crisis.

People will always watch.

Don’t let your audience give you stage fright, choose to keep preforming. Not to say that you are putting on an act, but there are times when life is so hard that you must simply keep going through the motions. That can be extra difficult when others are observing your every move.

Be confident and do it anyway.

When we first found out that Rebecca would not live long, we were helping to lead a youth group. The kids and their parents were devastated, of course. We understood their horror at our news, but were confused by the response we received.

What do people say when they watch you in a crisis?

C: “You are so in control.”

N: “You are so calm.”

D: “You are so strong.”

I: “I am so sorry, can I help?”

R: “Are you ok? Please let me help.”

G: “I’m sorry.”

Click the letter of the response you typically get to see if it may be an indication of your personal Img.ID  For more, search your Img.ID on my website.

Some of our messes are so ugly that those watching are uncomfortable.

Because of the innate nature to judge others, it’s only natural for people around us to try to read how we are doing and respond accordingly. The most common response my husband and I got with the news that Rebecca had Trisomy 18 was, “You are handling it so well.” Which was actually quite frustrating since we felt as if we couldn’t handle it at all! (I didn’t quite understand then that, as a Dramatic, I looked stronger than I actually was.)

 

I remember pouring out my frustration in prayer one day and feeling as if God literally spoke to my heart, “Catrina, I know it feels like they are judging you again, but you are judging them as well. They are not excusing themselves from helping you by assuming you are fine. They are misreading you. Show them your heart; and judge only their heart–not the awkward words they use to try to express their desire to be a part of your crisis.”

Embracing the stage.

If you are struggling with the fact that others are observing your personal drama, I encourage you to turn to the Director. God understands all the details, including what you (and others!) are feeling. If He has allowed a crisis into your life, then I have to believe that He thinks you can handle the stage. Don’t loose focus of your part in the play for fear of the critics.

Let’s not put on an act for those watching our crisis. Instead, let’s put on the garment of Confident Faith and BE and LET BE.

Are you in an Ugly Pit?

How I have longed for confidence and beauty this past couple of weeks while ensnared in so much ugliness. Death, destruction and disappointment have presented themselves to me in so many ways and fear has grasped ahold of my heart stifling my ability to blog or even reason.

A mamma is only as happy as her most miserable child. 

I was really hoping I would never have to live the miserable-mamma-mode again. I spent too many years of my life in obsession over the details of my children’s lives, but I suppose it’s just part of the territory we gain with conception.

Obsession: It’s not a bad thing.  It is a good and necessary thing to be consumed with the life we are responsible for. After all, if a mom isn’t obsessed about her baby’s needs, then how will that child survive? It’s only natural that our very identity can become wrapped up in our children.

A mama is who we are.

Our children are our pride and joy. As they learn to communicate and care for themselves, their dependency on us slowly weans away. Eventually they learn to make their own choices and even support themselves financially. A mamma’s responsibility to her child is naturally weaned away as well. Her identity, however, doesn’t just dissolve. We must choose to let go of who we were with each progression our dependents make–no wonder that there’s so many difficult seasons of pushing and pulling!

A mama is not all we are.

boy-1149957_640 Throughout my son’s addiction there have been many power struggles, especially before the actual problem came to the surface. Raising kids is confusing enough, but add the mind-altering, emotional rollercoaster that drugs bring to it and it’s extra difficult to decipher between meeting true needs and enabling the demanding manipulation. I personally shut down. My body literally became numb as I tried to convince myself that this could not possibly be my reality. I didn’t know who I was anymore and I began neglecting myself, my family and my relationships. It took me a long time to wake up to the fact that I, too, was acting dysfunctional.

It’s painful to see our children make bad choices, but like the pain of childbirth, we must push through it. In the beginning of my son’s love affair with heroin, I was very naive to what was going on and the fact that I simply couldn’t believe it only gave it more power over me. I fell back into the ugly pit of despair two weeks ago when my boy returned to his habit, but I don’t want to stay there! This is why I am finally blogging about it. There’s too many of us mammas silently striving to survive. We need each other.  If I have learned anything from the past several times I have been in this crisis, it is that I am of no use to anyone when I’m an ugly mess. I must be strong and confident. If I expect my boy to get out of his trap, I must get out of mine.

How do you cope when your kid makes poor choices?

C:  Reason with him, lecture him; Classics wants others to be in control, like they are.

N: Keep the peace, stay neutral; Naturals tend to make problems no big deal.

D: Shut down, take it personally; Dramatics appear to be unconcerned, but are very sensitive. 

I: Comfort him, believe in him; Ingénues are very empathetic.

R: Feel his pain, try to fix it; Romantics are very sympathetic and self-sacrificial.

G: Discipline him or the one you blame; Gamines tend to take charge of any problem. 

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

Know Who You Are. If you are a mother in despair it’s important to first remember that no one can take your identity away. You will always be your child’s mom. We must be careful not to allow outside influences (Including our child’s manipulative ways) to pressure us to step outside our role. There will be times when our kids don’t like us. That’s ok. We are not called to be their friend. They have plenty of friends; we are their only mom. No one has more vested interest in them than we do. We must be strong and balanced in our role of nurturing, guiding, disciplining and encouraging. Let’s not let our concern for them get in the way of our responsibility to train them in the way they should go.

If your years of training have past (as mine have), then let us remember that we each have our own identity and the right to make our own choices. Our adult child’s choices are not our identity. This week, let’s all put on the garment of Confident Beauty, which trust that God is bigger than any ugly pit we are in and He is able to change it for our good and His glory!

He has made everything beautiful in its time.
He has also set eternity in the human heart;
yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11 

*****

As an “Image consultant without the shopping obsession,” Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts by unveiling the power and purpose of their personal Image Identity (Img.ID) and teaching them to accentuate their authentic beauty so they can forget about their appearance and think about others. Please consider having her as a speaker for your next event. You can find her on FacebookTwitter, PinterestLinked InGoodreads.

Do You Feel Good or Guilty about “Me Time”?

It’s been nasty weather all week, but a rainy day off is a whole different game than a workday storm. It’s only natural to allow what is outside to determine our mood and motivation. As busy Americans, we may be frustrated at the inconvenience of the wet wind. The traffic is slower, the bank lines are longer, the  malls are crowded and our hair is a mess!

But a rainy day at home is a breath of fresh air–a day to relax and unwind while we catch up on housework or cuddle up with our kids. I love a rainy day off because I think I finally have time to write.

What do you like to do on a rainy day off? 

C: workout 

N: watch a movie

D: have a facial

I: do a craft

R: bake some cookies

G: organize the junk drawers 

Note: These choices represent the typical responses of each Image Identity. Click the letter to learn more about that style, including What2Wear.

On a rainy day off, do you actually do what you want?

Yea, I sabotaged my schedule, too. In fact, I thought I’d have extra writing time to work on my new book today, but I “had to” do a whole lot of other things before I would allow myself the “me time.” Now, suddenly it’s time to make dinner, and I still haven’t even gone to the market!

Why do we feel guilty about free time?

Guilt is such a distraction from reality. Think about it. When it’s gorgeous outside and we’re stuck inside, we feel like we waisted a great day. When it’s nasty out and we get to stay home, we feel ashamed if we weren’t productive. How many of us (besides Naturals) can just sit and enjoy that movie in the middle of the day without stressing over what we should be doing?

We tell each other to “stop and smell the roses” yet we believe that busy people are happy, successful people, so we keep running hard, thinking that one day we will earn some time in the garden of bliss.

Do you feel good or guilty on your rainy days off? 

If you ever beat yourself up over “me time,” I encourage you to take a deep breath and think for a moment. How do you feel when your kids laugh and play? What does your heart say when you watch them play their sports, do a craft, or laugh through a movie? Now picture them frustrated with themselves, striving to please you or someone else. Which feeling do you want others to experience when they are around you?

Personally, I’m tiered of punishing myself as if I never do enough. I’m tiered of feeling guilty whenever I take some time to do what my heart desires, whether it’s sitting at the computer or soaking in the tub. I want those around me to experience peace. I think of how satisfied I feel when my daughter practices her music. When she takes that time for herself I enjoy it just as much as she does! Granted, her angelic voice is far more satisfying to be around than the tapping of my keyboard is, but even if she sang out of tune, my mommy heart would rejoice with adoration, knowing she is pursuing what she loves.  I believe that is also how our Heavenly Father feels when we enjoy ourselves–especially when we are using our gifts–and if that’s how He feels, then we should all be working and playing with passion–guilt free!

So, go do your stretches, pull out your art, go to the spa, start the oven or pick out a movie! Do what you love to do… and you Gamines, go ahead, clean out the junk drawer, but at least dance while you do it.

Just sayin. It’s the peace that makes a woman a Confident Beauty.

“He who would love life
And see good days,

Let him refrain his tongue from evil,
And his lips from speaking deceit.

Let him turn away from evil and do good;
Let him seek peace and pursue it.

For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
And His ears are open to their prayers;
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” 
                                             1 Peter 3: 10-12

*****

As an “Image consultant without the shopping obsession,” I help women and girls overcome confidence conflicts by unveiling the power and purpose of their personal Image Identity (Img.ID) and teach them to accentuate their authentic beauty so they can forget about their appearance and think about others. Please consider me as a speaker for your next event. You can find me on Facebook, TwitterLinked In, Goodreads. For ideas of What2Wear, find me on Pinterest where I have a board for each personal Img.ID.

 

Transitioning Your Wardrobe for the New Season

For those of us in New England, it’s time to transition the wardrobe. Although we are still having some fair weather, the light summer clothing is just not going to do it much longer.

As Autumn sets in and you pull out last year’s warmer wardrobe, do you find yourself excited to wear those items again? If not, it may be time to do the dreaded weeding. Theoretically, the things you put away last year should only be things that you love, are in good condition and still fit… or at least still fit last spring. Yet in reality, most of us throw last season’s clothing into our storage area without considering if we will ever wear it again or not. Now, as the weather demands we pull them out again and restock our closet, we look at our options and feel this looming dread and frustration over What2Wear.

There is plenty of choices hanging before us, yet we cry out, “I have nothing to wear!”

 

What would you do?

It’s a cool autumn day and you need a light jacket, so you go through what you have only to find that last year’s favorite is now a bit snug, has a stain and is missing a button. There's a number of ways you could deal with this Image Issue:

C: Bring it to the drycleaner and seamstress and wear it for a few more years.

N: Keep your chin up and wear it anyway.

D: Leave it in your closet and go buy a cute new jacket and tell your husband you’ve had it forever.

I: Leave it in your closet and go without a jacket.

R: Leave it in your closet and wear a favorite sweatshirt instead.

G: Same as D, but tell your husband (and anyone else who questions or comments) that you got an amazing deal.


Note: These choices represent the typical responses of each Image Identity. Click the letter to learn more about that style, including What2Wear.

dresses-53319_640Science has proven over and over again that we are more confident about making any decision if there are fewer choices. Yet for some reason our nature reasons that we should “keep our options wide open” and not throw out anything we already possess.

 

The guilt over waste

Since early childhood we have been trained not to waste. After all, there are starving, naked children all over this world. Everyone knows that good people should be resourceful and respectful with what they have. We live in a greedy, materialistic society, but if we want to be honorable citizens, we should be content with that which we have. Right?

But isn’t sharing our hand-me-downs with Salvation Army more resourceful and respectful than hording our unwanted items in our cluttered closet? And isn’t clinging to things we don’t even want more of an indicator of materialism than it is of contentment? Honestly, I think the real issue is more about fear than it is values. I know I’m guilty of being afraid that, if I give away that stupid jacket, I will wish I still had it. Have you ever been afraid you won’t find something else to replace your worn out favorite? Or that you will forget the memory it represents… or that the person who gave it to you will find out you don’t really like it. Yet there’s a good chance they don’t even remember, because they haven’t seen you wear it in years anyway.

Take a picture of it.

Just saying.

When we get right down to the matter, I think we hold onto things because we are afraid we are being wasteful or ungrateful or that mom will find out we are no longer frugal.  We are afraid of what other people think.

Maybe it’s time we get over our fears and begin to weed out anything in our wardrobe that holds us back from being a Confident Beauty.

Send me FREE Wardrobe Weeding checklist PDF

*****

As an “Image consultant without the shopping obsession,” I help women and girls overcome confidence conflicts by unveiling the power and purpose of their personal Image Identity (Img.ID) and teach them to accentuate their authentic beauty so they can forget about their appearance and think about others. Please consider me as a speaker for your next event. You can find me on Facebook, TwitterLinked In, Goodreads. For ideas of What2Wear, find me on Pinterest where I have a board for each personal Img.ID.

Does Beauty Embarrass You?

When dealing with a client, most professionals are taught to avoid talking about religion or politics, but there are two other topics that I believe make people even more uncomfortable: success and beauty. 

The real issue: vulnerability

Religion and politics make people squeamish because it’s difficult to have a heart-to-heart with someone for fear that there will be a disagreement in an area where there are deep convictions. Success and beauty can be just as personal. Sure, it’s fine to talk about any of these topics if we keep our opinion out of it, and yes, it is easier to have a general conversation about finances or image than it is elections or faith, but I guarantee that when an outward discussion (even if it’s general) is happening about the first two, there is also some personal self-talk going on.

Especially if the topic is beauty for a woman or success for a man.

I’m far from qualified to discuss a man’s point of view, but can we get personal for a moment about the woman’s heart? I know it’s uncomfortable, but hey, that’s why I like to write: you can read this all alone with no one looking you in the eye… or elsewhere.

The Beauty Battle

The emotional turmoil starts in early childhood when our little-girl-heart revealed its longing to be lovely. Maybe it was the day you danced before your daddy to show off your new dress, or perhaps the moment you were caught playing with your mom’s makeup… Most women can tell a story of a day she began to feel the Beauty Battle. At some point, we all recognize that there is something terribly vulnerable about a girl’s desire to be seen.

As with any emotional battle, each one of us will have our own interpretation of what we are feeling and how we should respond. Our experiences, personality, beliefs, and the responses we receive will always influence how we interpret anything we feel, but I believe their are two major problems with our interpretations of the Beauty Battle: Continue reading Does Beauty Embarrass You?

How Discomfort Creates Confidence

If you have ever been in an uncomfortable situation, you know that your confidence is the first thing affected. Think about the last time you found yourself shaking in your boots. What made you feel self-conscious, was it when:

  • You were physically, emotionally or spiritually challenged?
  • You received personal, unwanted feedback regarding something you need to improve?
  • You did, said or dressed inappropriately?

There will always be times in our lives when we step out–or are pushed out–of our comfort zone. The key to success is embracing these times so that they create something new in us instead of squelching us. Last week I shared with you how my new assistant coaching position has challenged my confidence. I wish I could say I have it all figured out now and I’m feeling like a Confident Beauty. But I haven’t, and I don’t. But I am loving the challenge. It’s physically strenuous, emotionally daunting and honestly spiritually challenging (my pride is really struggling!). I’m definitely not the victor in all arenas, but I have to say, Continue reading How Discomfort Creates Confidence

3 Ways to Deal with Back to School Blues

For many girls all over the world, this week is the most difficult one of their lives. After Labor Day Weekend, they must go into new territory and face many challenges and insecurities. New Schools, new teachers, peers. studies, sports and activities.

Not to mention new outfits!

Fear of the unknown is one of the strongest Confidence Conflict we will ever face.

I am personally challenged by the unknown this season. As the new assistant coach to daughter’s volleyball team, I find myself in a familiar position of awkwardness. Having little understanding of the sport and very weak skills, I feel in adequate and unqualified. It has been several decades since I have been in high school, yet I find myself battling the same Confidence Conflicts as the kids I am coaching.

Yesterday, the head coach was showing us a funny, dance-like move to spike the ball with power. The first attempt at practicing it was half-hearted and hysterical. Laughter is a great way to hide our embarrassment–at least we don’t feel alone.

Or at least we don’t look like we feel alone.

After the first run through the drill, coach asked our players how many of them felt like they “got it.”

No one did.

My wise, new friend helped the players realized they were not alone in struggling with their new skill. Once they believed that, they were able to forget about how silly they looked and focus on giving it some real effort. It was astounding how much better they were with their second run through the drill!

If you have ever had to learn a new skill, taken on a new position, entered a new environment or had to make new friends, then you know that awkward feeling of not knowing what to do. This can be exceptionally difficult if you do not know who you are or where you stand. Whether you are starting school or a new job, when you don’t know the building, the people, the plan or the requirements, there's a number of ways you could respond: 

C:volleyball-1531786_640 Study hard and figure it out.

N: Play it cool, stay quiet, watch those around you to find a way.

D: Feel defeated, become consumed by your failures.

I: Quietly shut down and pretend there is no problem.

R: Encourage everyone else–while feeling stupid and beating yourself up.

G: Take charge, point out other people's mistakes and try to hide your own.
 
Note: These choices represent the typical responses of each Image Identity. Click the letter to learn more about that style, including What2Wear. 

We cannot master anything we do not understand and only a heart that is humble is teachable.

Self-talk is the key to succeeding at anything. Every one of us will feel stupid and out of place many times in our lives, especially when facing something new. It doesn’t matter how old we are or what we have accomplished, there will always be something we haven’t done before.

Like volleyball for me. I thought I was bringing some amazing life skills to encourage the team with, instead I am receiving them because these girls are the ones encouraging me!

Whether we think we can or think we can’t, we are right.

Like the follow-through of any ball we throw, hit, spike or putt, our thoughts determine the direction of our confidence. Basically, we have 3 choices:

  1. Ignore or down-play the challenge to hide our feelings of inadequacy–but hinder our ability to improve.
  2. Exaggerate the challenge to disguise our inadequacy–but give it the power to consume us or leave us feeling defeated and desolate.
  3. Accept the challenge for what it is–empowering us to learn and improve.

If you are heading off to a new environment or position this week, I encourage you to join me in stepping out of the fear of the unknown and taking on the challenge with confidence. Anything new is awkward for a little while. Let’s give ourselves time. If we stay humble enough to be teachable, all our fears will be replaced with confidence as we realize we are not alone. We are not stupid or inadequate; we are learning and we are improving and that is nothing to feel embarrassed about.

Go Eagles!

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As an “Image consultant without the shopping obsession,” I help women and girls overcome confidence conflicts by unveiling the power and purpose of their personal Image Identity (Img.ID) and teach them to accentuate their authentic beauty so they can forget about their appearance and think about others. Please consider me as a speaker for your next event. You can find me on Facebook, TwitterLinked In, Goodreads. For ideas of What2Wear, find me on Pinterest where I have a board for each personal Img.ID.

You Know You are Dramatic if…

The Dramatic is a fast-paced, hardworking woman who is not afraid to take risks. She has a daring nature that is seemingly uninhibited by the influences around her but the truth is she often has a very sensitive spirit. 

She is like an exotic flower, of which, of course, there are many kinds. I use the Protea to represent the Artsy Dramatic and the Bird of Paradise for the Sophisticated Dramatic. The Dramatic with a flare for art can carry off a costume-like image and come across as fun- like a Protea with its very unusual kind of beauty. The Dramatic who is more sophisticated also stands out with her unique style, but she may be more often included in social circles. Add an exotic flower to any bouquet and it will make a statement at your party; add a lot of them and it may be too much, unless it is a formal event or held in an exquisite hotel.

These women sometimes come across as “too much” when they are together. Their animated character added to their unique beauty seems to draw the assumption that they want all the attention, but like the flowers they actually do better in indirect sunlight and away from where they can be touched. It may take time for this beauty, like the Ugly Duckling, to find her beauty and bloom, but when she does she has a powerful presence and can be very influential in her world. Continue reading You Know You are Dramatic if…

You are the Apple of God’s Eye

If there is anything that can frustrate a person and draw out their truest character, it is misjudgment. Tell a friend you think they are being so kind and generous because they want something from you, discipline a child for something their sibling did, challenge a professional with the accusation that they don’t know what they are doing, and you will see the heart of that person right away.

We all have a desire to be accepted. 

Misjudgment is often interpreted as deep rejection. Especially by those of us who are sensitive beauties. Let’s take Hannah for example.

You find the story of this Dramatic woman in the Old Testament, when it wasn’t uncommon for a man to have more than one wife–especially if his first wife was infertile. Well, that was Hannah. Her husband loved her, but I can’t imagine she didn’t have to fight a huge Beauty Battle to believe that.

Infertility alone will challenge any woman’s confidence. Add to this girl’s challenge Continue reading You are the Apple of God’s Eye

Which Style of Clothing Suits You?

If you have ever taken a personality test, you know the value of understanding yourself and the people in your life on a deeper level. Getting along with other people can be difficult, especially when their perspective on the world is so different than yours. Relationship-oriented people can frustrate task-oriented people with their lack of respect for the details, and those who focus on the relationships can be overwhelmed, or even offended, by the pressures of those who care so much about the things that seem trivial to them.

We have more tolerance for others once we see a glimpse into their heart.

My second child was three months old before I finally realized that he didn’t want to be rocked to sleep like my first boy did. One day I let the frustration of his overtired fussiness get to me. In my exasperation, I decided to just lay him in his crib so I could calm myself down. To my amazement the child stopped fussing and immediately fell asleep. Suddenly I saw his heart. From then on, I simply prepared him for bed and tucked him in. Wow, was my life easier!

Rejection is less painful when we recognize that there are different perspectives. 

Sometimes we take other people’s personal preference as an insult. Part of my frustration with my baby’s fussiness was his lack of desire to cuddle with his mommy at nap time. Until I understood that he simply preferred to be left alone, I was interpreting his desire as a personal rejection.

When someone has a different outlook than ours, they may very well disapprove of our choices, but they are not necessarily out to get us. I doubt my baby was trying to hurt my feelings. Understanding that others see the world differently has a way of putting their opinion into proper perspective.

http://wp.me/p480pL-1g6An image assessment empowers you in the same way. 

Your personal Image Identity (Img.ID) is stemmed from your clothing personality. Just as a job “suits” you well because it “fits” with your personality (when you are task-oriented you do well with office jobs that deal with administration or accounting; when you are relationship-oriented you do well in service jobs that deal directly with people) so do certain clothing styles “suit” you well because they compliment your personality.

If you are a Classic, you are a woman of prestige, clothing that is professional and classy will suit you well.

If you are a Natural, you are a woman of simplicity, clothing that is casual and comfortable will suit you well.

If you are a Dramatic, you are a woman of excellence, clothing that is detailed and fashionable will suit you well.

If you are an Ingénue, you a woman of elegance, clothing that is fine and delicate will suit you well.

If you are a Romantic, you are a woman of compassion, clothing that is soft and glamorous will suit you well.

If you are a Gamine, you are a woman of power, clothing that is strong in coloring and cut will suit you well.

If you find yourself frustrated trying to compete–or comply–with someone else’s style, I encourage you to first clarify your own perspective by having an image assessment done and learning your Img.ID, then take a glimpse into the heart of the women around you and realize that they may have a completely different perspective; and that’s ok. BE and LET BE.

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Catrina Welch in an Inspirational Author, Speaker, Image- and Life-Coach. Her passion is to help women and girls discover Confident Beauty, which doesn’t wear off like makeup does!  Her latest book, Confident Beauty, Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul is now available as an audiobook.

GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR WOMEN ON CAPE COD:

Catrina will be hosting a Branding your Image Supreme MakeOver on TOMORROW Saturday, May 14th from 9-11am This is a great opportunity to get an image assessment done for the cost of one item of clothing in excellent condition. To learn more and to save your seat, please click here or contact Catrina today.