Tag Archives: relationships

Community Builds Confidence

Confidence, Life, , ,

This week, while I was away with my family, there was a number of drug overdoses back home, two of them within my circles of life.  Addiction has become a dreadful epidemic that deeply affects so many of us. This may seem a bit off-topic for my typical blog, but in actuality it is not at all. Obviously drugs are attractive somehow, and isn’t it the chemically enhanced confidence that makes them so addictive?

It’s not just the high that kids crave; it’s the sense of belonging.

The drug community offers that. It is tight. These kids cover for each other, they understand each other, they work together to buy and sell what they need or want. While so many are making these destructive and disturbing choices without understanding the consequences, I want to assure you that not everyone is “going to hell in a hand basket.”

IMG_4464Our family trip was to see my daughter perform at a Christian national fine arts festival and youth conference. This was an amazing opportunity for her to pursue her dream and build her confidence. So we packed up our RV and headed across the country to hang out with more than 10,000 teenagers for the week.

Before you pity me or consider me a martyr, let me assure you that my life was enriched by being around so many amazing and talented teens! It wasn’t just their giftedness in the arts; it was their acceptance and encouragement of each other that amazed me. In a society where so many taunt and tease the extraordinary, in a generation of intimidation and bullying, it was truly refreshing to watch kids flock to each other’s performances and cheer each other on.

The arts reveal the heart, and I witnessed a generation that is not naive to the pressures and temptations they face, but they desire to BE the influencers of good instead of the followers of wrong. I think most kids feel that way deep inside, but it’s hard for them to be strong when they feel alone in their convictions.

These kids need to know that they can still have fun without chemical influences.

Thousands of teens from all over the nation learned that this week. They were having a blast pursuing their passions, sharing their heart, and empowering each other with the knowledge that they are not alone. Talk about building confidence!

And the most beautiful part: the relationships they built and the feelings they had won’t wear off like a hit does!

If you are struggling to help your teens find themselves, I encourage you to lead them to a place of good and wholesome fun and believe in them. They do want to make a difference in their world. Help them see how they can. 

Ephesians 5:7-9 Don’t participate in the things these people do. For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true.

*****

Catrina Welch is an inspirational author and speaker whose personal experience with overcoming rejection, betrayal and loss–as well as her expertise as a cosmetologist, image consultant and Biblical life-coach–is empowering women to BE and LET BE.

Her latest book, CONFIDENT BEAUTY: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, is now available in your favorite

Finding Confidence in Knowing You are not Alone

Confidence, Faith, Life, , ,

Do you ever feel like you are completely alone because no one understands you?

not aloneAfter a few years of working full time as a hairdresser I began having back problems. Here I was in my prime of life ending each day in excruciating pain. I felt like such a wimp!  My co-workers and clients thought I was, too, because I would complain about my pain, but continue to work hard so I looked like a hypochondriac. If it was really that bad, why wouldn’t I stop?

Looking back, I can tell you that I was trying to prove to myself that I was stronger than I felt but at the time I didn’t understand myself or my pain. I just felt weak and foolish. In reality, I was desperate for comfort and validation. I needed to know I was not crazy, that my pain was real and that I would get better.

A doctor’s visit gave me the validation I needed–I wasn’t crazy, I had a ruptured disc in my neck. After reporting back to my boss, she told me how she, too, had blown a disc and had been on bed rest for a long time before she could work again.

I suppose her story could have scared me into giving up on my career, but it didn’t. Instead, it empowered me to begin treatment and get better. It gave me comfort to know someone understood my pain.

Sometimes we just need to know that we are not alone. If someone else can make it through what we are facing, so can we! Talking about our problems is not enough. Unless we are looking for answers, we may be looking like a hypochondriac. If you are in need of comfort or validation today, I encourage you to find someone who has made it through where you are, share your heart with her and remember, you are not alone.

*****

Catrina Welch is an inspirational author and speaker whose personal experience with overcoming rejection, betrayal and loss–as well as her expertise as a cosmetologist, image consultant and Biblical life-coach–is empowering women to BE and LET BE.

Her latest book, CONFIDENT BEAUTY: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, is now available in your favorite bookstores. Autographed copies of all her books are available on her website at www.CatrinaWelch.com

Holy Hug

Life,

I remember the guilt like yesterday. I remember the crime as well, but twenty years later it hardly seems like something to have been so ashamed of.

I was a single mom struggling with depression. I wanted to be happy and cheerful but it took a conscious effort to be pleasant–and that day I had failed at my efforts. I lay in bed that night feeling guilty for being such a miserable mom when my toddler deserved more from me. I knew the cause of my attitude’s downward spiral: Country music.

Don’t laugh.

I was completely serious as I tearfully asked God to forgive me for listening to the heartbreaking lyrics that set me in self-pity mode. I loved Country music before I lived it. I’d heard that if you played the song backward you would get your husband, car, house and pets back but that wasn’t working for me. I was stuck with a life I hadn’t chosen and so was my son. It wasn’t fair, but I had a beautiful, energetic little boy who I wanted to enjoy and who didn’t deserve for me to squelch his joy.

Wilted weeds“I’m sorry, Lord, help me to guard my heart better so I can be a better mom.”

That’s when I felt what I call a “Holy hug,” which is when you almost hear, see or feel God Himself.

“Remember when your boy gave you that dandelion the other day?” “Yea.” I thought, “It was so sweet and made me feel so special. I didn’t care that it was a wilted weed.” “That’s how I feel, my daughter, when you offer yourself to me. I really don’t mind that you are a mess; I just want your heart. ”

 

The Sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and a contrite heart–these, O God, You will not despise. Psalms 51:17

*****

Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing our Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com

Are Cliques Bad?

Confidence, Faith, Life, , , ,

cheering-momsCliques. Nobody likes them unless they are them.

Girlfriends who are having a good time together can (purposely or unmindfully) snub those around them, and if you are the one left out of the fun it can make you feel like an outsider. While these kinds of situations can rock the confidence of some women more than others, none of us like to be left out. But it happens. In fact, the more starved women are for “girlfriend time,” the more selfish we can be with what little of it we get and the more sensitive we can be about being snubbed.

When my kids were young I was able to be home with them and I had lots of time with friends in the same situation. It’s not that the kids, home and husbands didn’t keep us busy, but we would juggle our chores together. “Girlfriend time” was coffee in the minivan going on “lullaby rides.” We would go to the post office, dry cleaners, etc. while taking turns watching the sleeping babies so each mom could run in and out quickly. After stretching their naps out with a ride by the beaches, we would grab groceries together­–one of us would use plastic bags, the other paper–and then go to each others homes to put them away. Talking, laughing, holding each other’s babies while the chores got done. Good times. Productive, fulfilling times.

Now girlfriend time is more of a luxury that few women allow themselves. The only non-digital social time we really get is with the people who are involved in our already busy lives–they work, worship, network, carpool, or cheer at the kids games with us.

But really, is that so wrong?

 

Maybe what we need is to be more “cliquey” and start enjoying any girlfriend time we can get–even if it’s at the school event that we didn’t have time for and feel so awkward at. Maybe we need to notice more when others are longing to get in on our conversations and start include more people in our lives. Maybe it’s time we start juggling our chores together again and taking ourselves for a lullaby ride by the beaches.

*****

Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing our Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com

Expecting Love on Valentine’s Day

Faith, Life,

rosesLove is in the air–or at least it should be–it’s Valentine’s Day!

What are you expecting today? Most of us want to be in a strong and romantic relationship with a perfect mate who gives, says and does exactly as you want him (or her) to but this seldom our reality–even in a happy marriage. We all need to be careful not to let our expectations become unrealistic. Cupid is fun and all, but setting our hopes on his arrow striking a bull’s eye in our lives only leaves us susceptible to disappointment.

It’s no secret that I have let disappointments rob my joy, but I’ve learned that this special day isn’t about roses and chocolates, it’s about being involved and invested in the lives of those we love.

Valentine’s Day 1999 was the only holiday we had with our first daughter. The following year my husband and I decided to throw a memorial gala to celebrate the love others showed us during our loss. For 13 years we continued this tradition. We enjoyed creating an evening for sweethearts to enjoy a dream-date, with a beautiful atmosphere, 5-course meal, flowers and candies. We even brought in a DJ and photographer. Every year we sent the guests home with their hands and hearts full. It was always a lot of fun but I think the best part was the joy in the eyes of the children whose parents were our guests.

Kids feel secure when their parents have fun together and honor each other.

If you have a spouse to love on tonight, don’t let unrealistic expectations rob your joy.

If you are dealing with great disappointment, remember, God will never leave you nor forsake you. Allow that Truth to be your strength to expect a great day.

If you don’t have a sweetheart right now, remember that there is One who sticks closer than a brother, and go honor someone who needs to know they are loved.

Most of all, if you have children, remember that honoring of their dad (or mom) is the best gift you could ever give them. If this is not possible, remember that you are their mom (or dad) and take care of you.

*****

Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing a Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com

 

 

 

Free to Feel

Faith, Life, , ,

photoI am so proud of my daughter. Since Christmas she has been learning to play the guitar. She’s a Dramatic and has always taken good care of her nails, but has had to sacrifice their length for her new passion to play the strings. After having long nails for so long, the tips of her fingers were even more sensitive than most people’s. It took a tenacious heart to pursue her dream to make music, but now she has developed calluses where there once was soft tissue. Now what used to be painful is becoming even more of a pleasure.

A callus is often formed over a wound. It’s the body’s way of guarding itself from repeated pain. This thick, tough skin can serve as a reminder of something we have been through–kind of like scars stretch marks and wrinkles do. But more typically a callus is formed because a certain area has been irritated, under a lot of friction, or simply used a lot.

Our hearts can be like our fingertips, and a callus on either can keep us from harm so that we can do good things–like play the guitar or continuing in helping others even when they do not understand or appreciate us. Take, for example, a husband’s irritating habits or inconsiderate comments. After a while, if the wife patiently focuses on her love for him, these things will no longer bother her and their “music” will not suffer. Or how about the teen who is continuously criticized by her peers and condemned by her parents? If she can look through their judgments and see that her friends may be rude and unkind because they are jealous or insecure and her parents may be harsh and unfair because they love her and fear loosing her then she can continue to pursue her dreams with confidence.

But tough skin can also keep you from good things and make you numb to the things you were meant to feel–like the heat you are cooking with or the love of God. Maybe you don’t relate to this, but recently (and repeatedly) I became aware (again) of my ignorance to how deep and wide God’s love is for me. I have never had a problem believing how much He loves you, but having been brought up in a healthy and godly home and spending all of my life very involved in church and ministry I tend to forget that His unconditional love is for me, too. It’s not that I doubt it, it’s just that I keep taking on this ungrateful, “Yea, yea, of course He does,” attitude. In my arrogant faith, I have become callused to the most precious sensation there is: the amazing grace of the One who knows my every weakness and failure and loves me anyway.

I pray you are sensitive to the fact that He loves you like that, too, because when we keep our hearts from becoming callused to His love, we are far more able to continue playing with joy through the things that irritate us.

*****

Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing a Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com

Confidence Secured by Salvation

Life, , ,

A bad-hair day is not the only thing that will rock a girl’s confidence. I can think of many other confidence conflicts, how about you?

  • You make a great accomplishment and no one seems excited for you.
  • You don’t make the team/ get the job/position you worked so hard for.
  • You are totally misunderstood and feel condemned for what isn’t even true.
  • You make a horrible mistake and your apologies are not accepted.

Life can throw us all sorts of curveballs and there are simply going to be times when we are feeling down and discouraged. Confidence is predominately an emotion.

confidence |ˈkänfədəns; -fəˌdens|
 noun
 the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust
 • the state of feeling certain about the truth of something
 • a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities
 • the telling of private matters or secrets with mutual trust
 • (often confidences) a secret or private matter told to someone under such a condition of trust

When we are rejected, misunderstood or well, HUMAN that emotion can be rocked. We would all do well to decide not to let emotions rule our lives. We must stand strong even when we are knocked down and weak. This doesn’t mean we become arrogant and proud even when we fail, it means we stand on the Rock of our Salvation, knowing where our confidence lies: in Christ alone. To win the emotional battles that conflict with our confidence we must purposely choose to fight the emotions that cause us to feel defeated.

I find it interesting that last two clarifying definitions of confidence include the secret to securing the first two: to be truly certain about yourself you need to hold your own matters private and share them only with those trustworthy. Value your vulnerability.

 

I am not saying do not share yourself with others, I am saying don’t go around boasting about your weaknesses–it is no more attractive than boasting about your strengths. Share yourself (the good and the bad) like you would share your favorite piece of jewelry.

Not everyone respects you–painful as that is– but I’m willing to assume you do not respect everyone else either. I hope that your opinion of them is based on solid and godly reasoning, but unfortunately not everyone will form their opinions of you based on even slight reasoning. Some people simply are not trustworthy or respectful. “Hold your cards close” when you are around them. It is not your responsibility to share your heart with everyone, and it is unreasonable to even try to make everyone like you. When people form a harsh opinion of you be confident anyway. People of integrity expect to be believed. And when they are not, they let time prove them right.

You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone except the One who will judge you when you face eternity and He knows the good and the bad, yet He died for you anyway. When you put your confidence in His unfailing love it’s a whole lot easier to be confident when others hurt you or you fail yourself. Jesus values your vulnerability-it is a precious jewel to Him. You can trust Him with your private matters–the good and the bad. When you do well He will respond with His favor, when you do poorly He will show you His mercy, when you apologize He will cover you with His amazing grace. Keep your emotions stayed on that and you will find confidence that isn’t easily rocked.

Psalms 103:12As far as the east is from the west,
 So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

Thank you, Jesus, that I can put my confidence in Your unfailing love and that my faith is enough to please you, that I don’t have to be perfect. Thank you for the sacrifice you so freely gave to pay for my failures. Help me to expect to be believed and when I am not help me be more gracious to those who hurt me and to let go of my hope for their approval. Your forgiveness and approval is all I need.
*****
Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing a Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com

Freedom of Forgiveness

Faith, Life, ,

This was about 10 years ago now, but I vividly remember the day I made a $20,000 mistake in my husband’s business account. It seems like he has forgotten it. He has never brought it up; neither have-I until now (why not put it on the internet, right?). There are not many relationships where I feel confident that my errors are forgotten, this is one of the reasons there is no one in this world I love more than my man. I am confident that his forgiveness is not partial or conditional-that day so long ago proved it. That’s why I will never forget it.

I don’t know how long it took me to tell Ronny about my bookkeeping error, but I do know it felt like forever. I remember feeling a horrible pit in my stomach that nothing could shake. I tried denying it, ignoring it, covering it up but nothing worked. Twenty grand doesn’t just reappear and I could not fake that the money was there for long. When I finally got up the guts to tell him, my gracious husband took a few moments to calm himself down and then told me one of his favorite phrases “IOM” (it’s only money) “I’ll just have to work even harder.” End of story.

Sometimes even simple mistakes cost a lot. For me the main expense in that mistake was my pride and the time I lost with my man while he worked many extra hours. The thing my mistake cost Ronny was a lot of time and hard work. But what we gained from that experience is priceless. Nothing has made me feel more loved in my life than knowing that even though I was totally wrong, my man valued me more than his business, his reputation or his time and money. He allowed me to be a fool without treating me like one. He paid the price for my foolishness and he never placed guilt or shame on me for it.

Before I confessed what I did to him I had plenty of guilt and shame, though, which is why I share this story with you. I know I am not alone. Surely I am not the first person to make a huge and costly mistake. I can say for certain the twenty grand was not my first nor my last foolish error, it’s just that the repercussions of that one had to be dealt with quickly because checks were being written against the money that was lost. Sometimes mistakes take a little longer to come to the surface while we frantically try to hide, ignore, give away the guilt and shame they cause us. It just seems to me that as 2013 comes to an end, perhaps its time for all of us to come clean with the things that are giving us that horrible pit in our stomach.

Let’s start 2014 with the freedom that forgiveness brings.

Maybe the one you have hurt is not as gracious as my man. Can I challenge you to come clean anyway? Any offense that we give to one of God’s children is an offense to Him. First ask Him to forgive you and then ask Him for help seek forgiveness from the offended. If you presume their response will only be condemning or condescending, do it anyway. Do it for your Savior.

Maybe that person (or someone else) has hurt you, too. Forgive them whether they deserve it or not. You are not accountable for what they do, only for how you respond to what they do. Choose to do right no matter how wrong you are treated. I promise, this attitude may not be easy, but if you will let go of your offenses you will be free indeed. If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us from our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

 

Jesus, Please forgive me for my mistakes. I know that you paid the price for my sins and I thank you that I don’t need to suffer guilt or shame anymore. I confess my ways to you right now and ask for your forgiveness. Please help me to forgive those who have hurt me, especially,        I want to start this new year off with a clean slate. Would you help me to make the relationships in my life right, even if the other people continue to treat me wrong. Amen

*****

Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing a Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com

If you are interested in having Catrina come speak to your friends, colleagues or ministry you can contact her on facebook or by email at catrina@catrinawelch.com.

Silent Night

Greif, Life, , , ,

 

Silent Night, Holy Night; all is calm, all is bright

‘Round yon virgin, mother and child

Holy infant so tender and mild

Sleep in heavenly peace, sleep in heavenly peace

 We’ve all heard the song. We sing it with reverence as we think about Baby Jesus sleeping soundly in a manger while His sweet young mother adores Him. Often we close our candlelight services on Christmas Eve with it’s soothing tempo, and it brings great warmth and comfort, no matter how difficult the season can sometimes be.

Life wasn’t really all that calm and bright that Christmas Day, though. In fact there must have been chaos all ‘round that mother and child. After all, the nursery was a barn, with animals bleating and sharing their aromatic pleasures with the people everywhere. Remember there was no room for Mary and Joseph at the Inn because there was a major census going on. This was a large family reunion. Everyone had to come; Aunt Martha’s tiff with her sister was not going to excuse her from this one.

There were also uninvited guests. I don’t know, were the shepherds even part of the census? They weren’t in the city when the angles appeared to them, and after they found the baby they told everyone about what they had heard and seen. Luke says the people marveled about it; surely crowds went rushing in to see Jesus for themselves. I imagine everyone there at least knew about the new mom who put her baby in a feeding troth.

I’m not sure Jesus really slept with all that going on. I know He was an infant, but don’t forget, He was Holy; yes, He was tender and mild, but He was still the Lord of all creation. He came to that manger to seek and save the lost, but as a newborn baby He couldn’t do that. Man, it must have been hard knowing the hearts and hurts of all those around Him, but having to wait until the time was right before He could act.

This year, with all the hurting hearts around us, let us do our best to be tender and mild and know our place. Sometimes there is nothing we can do for those around us, except be the sure and steady security that they need. When it is not right to act, ask Jesus to help you to sleep in heavenly peace like He did, and I believe when the right time comes, the victory will come as well.

Merry Christmas, my friends. May God bless you with sweet peace and fill you with great joy.

*****

Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing a Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com

If you are interested in having Catrina come speak to your friends, colleagues or ministry you can contact her on facebook or by email at catrina@catrinawelch.com.

 

 

What’s in Your Mirror?

Faith, Life, Personal Style, , , , , ,

reflectionYou are who you believe you are.

If you do not know who you are, your confidence will waver.

If you believe a lie about yourself (like you are ugly/weak/unwanted), you will be self-conscious, and no matter how beautiful your image is, you will not give others confidence in you.

Sometimes what women see in the mirror is completely different than what she feels about herself. All too often even the most gorgeous of girls speak (or at least think) poorly of themselves. Why do you suppose this is?

The best of miracle products, spa services or surgical procedures may make the feminine heart feel more confident for a time, but have you ever heard of a case were they satisfy the deep longing in her soul for a better reflection? I don’t think it is because women are shallow or selfish. I think it is because God put this yearning in our hearts for a reason (more on that in Confident Beauty).

When I am run down and not feeling well, I like to dress up. Most people dress for how they feel: when they feel run down, they put the sweat pants on or stay in their robe all day. I am not saying I never do that, in fact yesterday’s migraine kept me from ever getting to my makeup, but for the days I have to be productive no matter how I feel, I have found it wise to dress up. I feel better when I look better.

It’s a girl thing, don’t you think?

Not that men don’t have more enthusiasm for life when they know they look good, but I would dare to say (and I think most would agree) that the intensity of this natural desire to look beautiful is stronger for the female gender. Its just part of who we are. Our men may taunt us for it, but they like us looking fine so, really, they shouldn’t. If they only knew how deeply their harsh words sometimes wound us, they wouldn’t make us feel as if we were vain or self-consumed. They just don’t understand. But why do we expect them to? We don’t even give each other grace for this desire! We make each other feel badly for over-dressing or under-dressing!

But no one is a worse critic of what is in the mirror than the woman standing in front of it.

Yea, we are complicated and hard to understand. We need to have more grace for ourselves and for each other, do our best to understand the feminine heart. I encourage you to learn your personal Img.ID so that you can give yourself the makeover that works for you. It is simply a fact of life: women are more self-consciousness on bad-hair-days, and when mamma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!

Sort of like the days when a man feels broke or weak.

Just sayin.

*****

Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing a Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com

If you are interested in having Catrina come speak to your friends, colleagues or ministry you can contact her on facebook or by email at catrina@catrinawelch.com.

Walking on Water

Life, , , , , ,

images

Oh, what I would do to have the kind of faith it takes to step out of this boat I’m in, onto the crashing waves…

 

Maybe you remember the popular Christian song, “Voice of Truth” by Casting Crowns? It was always one of my favorites, especially after watching two of my children do human videos (two separate ones) to the powerful lyrics years ago. The tune has been running through my mind for days now, and I simply must share my thoughts with you.

This is for you if you have ever wished you could be better, stronger, more successful. Especially if right now you feel like life is tossing you to and fro and you can’t catch your breath, never mind handle the storm you are in.

The churning seas I face right now is joyous, but still disrupting to my usual life. Confident Beauty has just been released and I am on the move to figure out book signings etc. My daughter has been performing with an elite group of artists and her dreams are soaring with mine. All the men in our lives are being amazing supporters and are helping with all the details that we should be handling-you know, like cooking and cleaning… oh, and decorating, shopping, wrapping…. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, yes, and for us Welch girls it’s the most wonderful time of our dreams, too.

Maybe your storm isn’t so fun. Maybe the waves causing you stress are finances, relationships, employment, weight or hurts, habits or hangups. Is there something you want to get under control, but The waves are calling out [your] name and they laugh at [you], reminding [you] of all the times [you’ve] tried before and failed. The waves they keep on telling [you[, time and time again, “boy[girl], you’ll never win!”?

I want to encourage you today that you do not have to listen to the waves!

… of all the voices calling out to [you]… choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth which (Who) says, “do not be afraid” and “this is for my glory” Trust Him who is able to make all things work together for your good (Romans 8:28)

But there is more.

I’ll share that with you tomorrow.

*****

Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing a Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com

If you are interested in having Catrina come speak to your friends, colleagues or ministry you can contact her on facebook or by email at catrina@catrinawelch.com.

 

Needing Others

Greif, Life, , , ,

When a child suffers or dies, caring people are affected. It doesn’t have to be your child, or your family member for you to feel the grief. If you care, you hurt. Of course the pain is far more substantial for the parents and those who love the one afflicted, but somehow difficult stories become public and even strangers hurt.

DownloadedFileWhen I lost my daughter, the publicity was difficult at first. I didn’t want to be the subject of strangers’ conversations or the charity case for their meal drives. I wanted people to leave me alone and let me deal with this myself. I felt as though people were using their knowledge of me as their bragging rights to my story or their generosity.

It was a friend of a friend who brought me to a breaking point. She walked into my house with her beautiful meal in hand all in a huff. She was overwhelmed with her own life and adding another family to her meal plan and finding the time to run it two towns over to me was no easy task for her–and she made me very aware of her great sacrifice.

I tried to enjoy her guilt offering that night, but I couldn’t suppress the frustrations of being a burden to my community. My family and I are independent people! We take responsibility for our own needs, we like to be the ones helping, not the ones needing!

I have an amazing husband who shows more grace than anyone I know. This wasn’t easy for him either; he is a very generous man who would give the shirt off his back to his enemy without a thought of himself, but he knew that with giving comes pride and being needy is the best antidote for that. As I shared my frustrations with him, he taught me to submit to the condition we were in, and allow others to help us, that this was simply a season and we should let people be part of it because they care, even if they do and say things that are way out of line. We need to look at people’s hearts, not their actions or words. Child-loss is a huge challenge and no one knows what to do or say. And really, one day certain words or actions might be helpful, another day they may be hurtful. It’s no ones fault that our emotions are irrational; it’s life.

We are all human, we mess up, but more often than not we do not intend to. I know I have said the wrong thing to another grieving mom, and I’ve been there–I should know what helps! I can only hope that when my words or actions hurt others, that they too have learned that we each have a choice: we can take things personally and let our offenses rob what strength we have left to get through our challenges, or we can look at the heart of our offender and believe that they care and do want to help, they just are struggling with their own issues and don’t know how to do it well.

After all, that’s what Christ does for us.

 

2 Peter 3:14-18  So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him. Bear in mind that our Lord’s patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him. He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction.

Therefore, dear friends, since you have been forewarned, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of the lawless and fall from your secure position. But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.

*****

Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing a Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com

If you are interested in having Catrina come speak to your friends, colleagues or ministry you can contact her on facebook or by email at catrina@catrinawelch.com.