Finding the Strength to be Weak

The committee members were ready to get started when I decided to quickly sprint across the banquet hall to grab my things before we sat down. I didn’t want to hold anyone up.

That’s when I ate it.

Humble pie–dance floor style.

I’d like to blame it on my bifocals, because I really thought the wood was inlayed, not raised above the carpet, but incorrect perception or not, my flight across the banquet hall was far from graceful.

Needless to say, I held up the meeting.

Humbled and hurting I really wanted to jump up and pretend my crash through the tables and chairs hadn’t happened but since I had caused such a scene, that wasn’t really an option. The other women all gathered around me and insisted I take a moment to get my bearings. They wiped the blood off my face, checked my pupils for dilation and my shoulder for range of motion then got me ice and helped me up. And not one of them made me feel as foolish as I am sure I looked.

As we went through the logistics of our upcoming event I had trouble focusing, and they noticed. They genuinely cared if was ok. When the meeting was done, they got me painkillers and drove me where I needed to go. I was so appreciative to be with women who’s compassionate strength made me feel safe enough to be weak.

There is something about vulnerability that bonds the heart to those who are there for you. 

The ladies, who I had really only known professionally, became my friends because of my fall, but there have been many times in my past when I let pride rob me of that experience.

“I’s ok; I’m ok I don’t want to be a bother.”

“I’m too embarrassed, please don’t notice.”

It’s more natural for us women to prefer being the one helping than admitting we are hurting.

We all would rather be needed than needy, but if we are all self-sufficient, who gets to be needed?

I realize there are some people trapped in the deception of desolation–a slave to their dependencies–but I believe that most women are like me, who would rather not give up any independency we have.  Yet we all fall at some time or another.

And we all need someone.

It is arrogance that makes us want to fight against this reality:

“No thank you, I’m fine, I don’t need anyone.” 

Ugh!

To all my friends that I ever acted this way toward: I am so sorry.

It takes a certain strength to be weak, and that is the strength I would far rather have than the false one that used to govern my life.

Perhaps you are in the place of trying to help someone up when they knocked you down with their pride. I know that feeling, too. It makes it hard to offer again. I hate the idea that I have discouraged others like that. I hate that even yesterday I started to get up when I wasn’t ready. But I loved having caring friends who got down on the floor with me and lovingly respected my pride while realizing it was blinding me from what I needed to do (or not do) so they insisted on helping. If they hadn’t, I probably would have fallen again and without a doubt I would have been more sore today.

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Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Ecclesiastes 4:9,10 

If you find yourself in the humbling (and often very frustrating!) situation of needing help from others, I encourage you to let them help. 

There may be some people who see the humor in your fall, don’t let their jokes make you feel foolish, let them help you to laugh. 

Find friends who care and enjoy the way that your need and their need to be needed binds you together with cords that cannot be broken. It is the difficulties in life that we remember well and one day you will look back on them and thank God for the friendships that were strengthened. 

*****

Catrina Welch is an inspirational author and speaker whose personal experience with overcoming rejection, betrayal and loss–as well as her expertise as a cosmetologist, image consultant and Biblical life-coach–is empowering women to BE and LET BE.

Her latest book, CONFIDENT BEAUTY: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, is now available in your favorite bookstores. Autographed copies of all her books are available on her website at www.CatrinaWelch.com

About Catrina

Catrina Welch has been helping others with their image for more than 30 years. As a licensed cosmologist, certified image consultant and Biblical life-coach, she is well aware that image issues are far more difficult for some styles than they are for others. After her first husband left her while pregnant, she learned first hand that the greatest antidote to Confidence Conflicts is to know who you are, including your personal image identity. She developed a systematic way of doing image assessments for large groups, which she calls a “Supreme MakeOver.” Catrina is the author of five books, including “Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul.” She is the mother of four children. Catrina and Ron, her husband of twenty-five years, live on Cape Cod, Massachusetts. For more information about Supreme MakeOvers or having Catrina speak at your next event, email her at catrina@catrinawelch.com

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