Most men don’t get it. Casual Img.IDs (Naturals and sometimes Gamines) struggle to understanding it, too–well, actually they don’t really try to understand it, they just think the less-casual women are foolish or shallow–but a bad-hair day can really rock a girl’s confidence! Most of us don’t want to admit it when we feel down and out simply because we feel ugly, but maybe its time we come to grips with this part of our human nature.
I know its hard to admit we want to look good. No one wants to be selfish, and our appearance is all about us so it does make sense that it seems self-centered to want to be beautiful. But let’s think this out. Our husbands want us beautiful. Our kids want to be proud of us. Our boss wants us looking professional. Our clients/patients/patrons/coworkers want to believe we are competent and they judge us by our appearance. And how about this one: when we feel beautiful we are more productive, positive and pleasant. Why? Because beauty empowers, energizes, encourages the human heart–that’s why we go to beautiful places to get refreshed from our busyness. Beauty brings peace and comfort–that’s why we send flowers to the sick and grieving hearts. It brings a sense of satisfaction and joy–that’s why we decorate stages, dinner tables and hospital nursery rooms with beautiful bouquets. Beauty draws others to it with a sense of trustworthiness–thats why we choose movies and products with beautiful actresses… and that’s why it is ok to want to be beautiful yourself.
You want to draw others to you; that is not selfish, that is godly.
Our problem lies in our competitive nature, which brings discontentment. That’s why I am so passionate about helping women understand which style of beauty they are. When you know “what not to wear” you are less apt to get caught up in comparing yourself with women that can wear what you wish you could. Women who know their personal image identity (Img.ID) know how to achieve their best look. Women with Confident Beauty allow themselves to do what it takes to be happy with their reflection. They do their morning routine and then foget about themselves the rest of the day. They make the plane stuitress proud: they take care of their own needs (put on their own oxygen mask) first in order to be able to take care of those they are responsible for.
In reality, NOT taking care of ourselves is what is selfish.
We all know that When mamma ain’t happy, ain’t noooobody happy! It is feminine nature to shut down and become demanding when unhappy, so if a bad-hair day can set a woman’s mind on herself then isn’t it UNselfish for her to take care of herself?
Ladies, get your hair done. Think of the money you spend as an investment in your confidence. Invest wisely. Choose styles that work with your personality so that it doesn’t make you feel phony. You don’t have to follow fashion, follow your Img.ID guidelines. For you, yes, but for your marriage, your children, your job or business as well, because when you are happy, you are more apt to focus on others.
Men, stop making us feel like we are shallow. You want us beautiful, you want us happy. You want to be strong and profitable; we want to be attractive, let’s start respecting each other’s human nature. Neither of us are wrong, we are just different.
God would you help me to take care of myself without expecting others to understand me. I am not their responsibility, I am my own. I want to take better care of those I am responsible for so please help me to not be ashamed of my own needs and desires. And help me to allow others, especially my husband, to have his own perspective on life. Thank you for making us different. Help us to compliment and complete each other and to stop competing with each other. Amen.
Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing a Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com