Tag Archives: image issues

Transitioning Your Wardrobe for the New Season

For those of us in New England, it’s time to transition the wardrobe. Although we are still having some fair weather, the light summer clothing is just not going to do it much longer.

As Autumn sets in and you pull out last year’s warmer wardrobe, do you find yourself excited to wear those items again? If not, it may be time to do the dreaded weeding. Theoretically, the things you put away last year should only be things that you love, are in good condition and still fit… or at least still fit last spring. Yet in reality, most of us throw last season’s clothing into our storage area without considering if we will ever wear it again or not. Now, as the weather demands we pull them out again and restock our closet, we look at our options and feel this looming dread and frustration over What2Wear.

There is plenty of choices hanging before us, yet we cry out, “I have nothing to wear!”

 

What would you do?

It’s a cool autumn day and you need a light jacket, so you go through what you have only to find that last year’s favorite is now a bit snug, has a stain and is missing a button. There's a number of ways you could deal with this Image Issue:

C: Bring it to the drycleaner and seamstress and wear it for a few more years.

N: Keep your chin up and wear it anyway.

D: Leave it in your closet and go buy a cute new jacket and tell your husband you’ve had it forever.

I: Leave it in your closet and go without a jacket.

R: Leave it in your closet and wear a favorite sweatshirt instead.

G: Same as D, but tell your husband (and anyone else who questions or comments) that you got an amazing deal.


Note: These choices represent the typical responses of each Image Identity. Click the letter to learn more about that style, including What2Wear.

dresses-53319_640Science has proven over and over again that we are more confident about making any decision if there are fewer choices. Yet for some reason our nature reasons that we should “keep our options wide open” and not throw out anything we already possess.

 

The guilt over waste

Since early childhood we have been trained not to waste. After all, there are starving, naked children all over this world. Everyone knows that good people should be resourceful and respectful with what they have. We live in a greedy, materialistic society, but if we want to be honorable citizens, we should be content with that which we have. Right?

But isn’t sharing our hand-me-downs with Salvation Army more resourceful and respectful than hording our unwanted items in our cluttered closet? And isn’t clinging to things we don’t even want more of an indicator of materialism than it is of contentment? Honestly, I think the real issue is more about fear than it is values. I know I’m guilty of being afraid that, if I give away that stupid jacket, I will wish I still had it. Have you ever been afraid you won’t find something else to replace your worn out favorite? Or that you will forget the memory it represents… or that the person who gave it to you will find out you don’t really like it. Yet there’s a good chance they don’t even remember, because they haven’t seen you wear it in years anyway.

Take a picture of it.

Just saying.

When we get right down to the matter, I think we hold onto things because we are afraid we are being wasteful or ungrateful or that mom will find out we are no longer frugal.  We are afraid of what other people think.

Maybe it’s time we get over our fears and begin to weed out anything in our wardrobe that holds us back from being a Confident Beauty.

*****

As an “Image consultant without the shopping obsession,” I help women and girls overcome confidence conflicts by unveiling the power and purpose of their personal Image Identity (Img.ID) and teach them to accentuate their authentic beauty so they can forget about their appearance and think about others. Please consider me as a speaker for your next event. You can find me on Facebook, TwitterLinked In, Goodreads. For ideas of What2Wear, find me on Pinterest where I have a board for each personal Img.ID.

How Discomfort Creates Confidence

If you have ever been in an uncomfortable situation, you know that your confidence is the first thing affected. Think about the last time you found yourself shaking in your boots. What made you feel self-conscious, was it when:

  • You were physically, emotionally or spiritually challenged?
  • You received personal, unwanted feedback regarding something you need to improve?
  • You did, said or dressed inappropriately?

There will always be times in our lives when we step out–or are pushed out–of our comfort zone. The key to success is embracing these times so that they create something new in us instead of squelching us. Last week I shared with you how my new assistant coaching position has challenged my confidence. I wish I could say I have it all figured out now and I’m feeling like a Confident Beauty. But I haven’t, and I don’t. But I am loving the challenge. It’s physically strenuous, emotionally daunting and honestly spiritually challenging (my pride is really struggling!). I’m definitely not the victor in all arenas, but I have to say, Continue reading How Discomfort Creates Confidence

3 Ways to Deal with Back to School Blues

For many girls all over the world, this week is the most difficult one of their lives. After Labor Day Weekend, they must go into new territory and face many challenges and insecurities. New Schools, new teachers, peers. studies, sports and activities.

Not to mention new outfits!

Fear of the unknown is one of the strongest Confidence Conflict we will ever face.

I am personally challenged by the unknown this season. As the new assistant coach to daughter’s volleyball team, I find myself in a familiar position of awkwardness. Having little understanding of the sport and very weak skills, I feel in adequate and unqualified. It has been several decades since I have been in high school, yet I find myself battling the same Confidence Conflicts as the kids I am coaching.

Yesterday, the head coach was showing us a funny, dance-like move to spike the ball with power. The first attempt at practicing it was half-hearted and hysterical. Laughter is a great way to hide our embarrassment–at least we don’t feel alone.

Or at least we don’t look like we feel alone.

After the first run through the drill, coach asked our players how many of them felt like they “got it.”

No one did.

My wise, new friend helped the players realized they were not alone in struggling with their new skill. Once they believed that, they were able to forget about how silly they looked and focus on giving it some real effort. It was astounding how much better they were with their second run through the drill!

If you have ever had to learn a new skill, taken on a new position, entered a new environment or had to make new friends, then you know that awkward feeling of not knowing what to do. This can be exceptionally difficult if you do not know who you are or where you stand. Whether you are starting school or a new job, when you don’t know the building, the people, the plan or the requirements, there's a number of ways you could respond: 

C:volleyball-1531786_640 Study hard and figure it out.

N: Play it cool, stay quiet, watch those around you to find a way.

D: Feel defeated, become consumed by your failures.

I: Quietly shut down and pretend there is no problem.

R: Encourage everyone else–while feeling stupid and beating yourself up.

G: Take charge, point out other people's mistakes and try to hide your own.
 
Note: These choices represent the typical responses of each Image Identity. Click the letter to learn more about that style, including What2Wear. 

We cannot master anything we do not understand and only a heart that is humble is teachable.

Self-talk is the key to succeeding at anything. Every one of us will feel stupid and out of place many times in our lives, especially when facing something new. It doesn’t matter how old we are or what we have accomplished, there will always be something we haven’t done before.

Like volleyball for me. I thought I was bringing some amazing life skills to encourage the team with, instead I am receiving them because these girls are the ones encouraging me!

Whether we think we can or think we can’t, we are right.

Like the follow-through of any ball we throw, hit, spike or putt, our thoughts determine the direction of our confidence. Basically, we have 3 choices:

  1. Ignore or down-play the challenge to hide our feelings of inadequacy–but hinder our ability to improve.
  2. Exaggerate the challenge to disguise our inadequacy–but give it the power to consume us or leave us feeling defeated and desolate.
  3. Accept the challenge for what it is–empowering us to learn and improve.

If you are heading off to a new environment or position this week, I encourage you to join me in stepping out of the fear of the unknown and taking on the challenge with confidence. Anything new is awkward for a little while. Let’s give ourselves time. If we stay humble enough to be teachable, all our fears will be replaced with confidence as we realize we are not alone. We are not stupid or inadequate; we are learning and we are improving and that is nothing to feel embarrassed about.

Go Eagles!

*****

As an “Image consultant without the shopping obsession,” I help women and girls overcome confidence conflicts by unveiling the power and purpose of their personal Image Identity (Img.ID) and teach them to accentuate their authentic beauty so they can forget about their appearance and think about others. Please consider me as a speaker for your next event. You can find me on Facebook, TwitterLinked In, Goodreads. For ideas of What2Wear, find me on Pinterest where I have a board for each personal Img.ID.

You Know You Are a Bold Beauty if…

Character: The Gamine comes across as a very confident woman, because she has learned to stand tall though she is often towered over by her peers. She is very opinionated and has a way of persuading others to be of the same opinion; she is not afraid to say it like it is.

The Gamine is much like the Calla Lilly; she is strong, sturdy and full of color and variety. The trumpet-shaped petals of the Calla Lilly are bright and bold and contrast with its thick leaves or any secondary color it may have. This flower can endure almost any condition; the more colorful it is the more it may need warmth, but the white ones bloom even in stormy, cold conditions. We need Gamines in this world; they thrive in situations where most of us would not know what to do. When they see crisis, they jump to action—like the flower that pokes through the ground before the rest of the plant. When the Calla Lilly does that, a new gardener might get the impression that something is wrong; when Gamines suddenly appear with their opinions or corrections, they may give off a first impression that doesn’t accurately display their true nature. She may appear to be judgmental, but the truth is she is passionate about justice. Sometimes this woman’s eagerness to fix things is like the Calla Lilly’s fragrance (which isn’t as appealing as most flowers), and people may step back from her, but she will always be admired, even if it’s from a distance, because this woman’s powerful presence is undeniable.

Calla-LilyGamines are focused women who know how to have fun. Sometimes their focus makes them forget about fun, Continue reading You Know You Are a Bold Beauty if…

You Know You are a Classic Beauty if…

Character: The Classic woman is the epitome of elegance, especially if she is a Summer or Spring; although she can be any season.

Classic women are very refined and poised. They are thinkers and planners. They watch what is going on around them, they study, they gain wisdom and they act on their knowledge without concern for their reputation. They do what is right even if others do not understand them. In fact, once they are convinced of something it is very hard to get them to change their mind.

Classics live a balanced life, they tend to eat right and exercise, they work hard and take the vacation time they earn. The Classic is not only organized and orderly, but she needs to be; in fact, chaos will quite often bring out the worst in her. When things get out of control she may get stressed, but rarely does she get caught up in the moment. She may be emotional by nature, but she is controlled and rational in mannerism.

RoseI use the rose to represent the Classic because she is a refined beauty. She is dignified and sophisticated and stable in all her ways. She is graceful and conservative and a pleasure to look at. She has a balanced figure and proportionate features and tends to have her professional look all together, with everything coordinated and accessorized, (though it may be outdated).

This woman is hard to get close to. Like the rose, she has a guard about her. In her younger years she is tight and withdrawn and a bit protective of her heart and habits. When she is upset she may speak with sharp words, but she doesn’t have to say much. People respect her. As she matures she opens up and those willing to risk knowing her can easily remove her thorns. Her wisdom and skills are often a sweet aroma to those who need her.

We all need a Classic in our lives; they make great mentors. Unfortunately, many Classics are left to pursue their great ambitions alone because those who don’t understand her passion to make things better may consider her critical, or stuck in her ways, but those that know her will agree that her stability brings security and her wisdom and administrative skills are valuable.

If you are a Classic, I encourage you to remember that you elegant beauty is best enjoyed when it is complimenting other types of beauty. A single rose in a vase is lovely but a rose properly placed in a bouquet, or surrounded by baby’s breath is captivating and inviting. Most women guard their hearts by determining to not need others. As a Classic, you may need to fight the tendency to stand alone even more than most women. Others need what you have to offer, and, honestly, you need others to accentuate what you have to offer.

One example of this is in home decorating. You may very likely be a Classic if your home has high quality furnishings but is missing the finishing touches and decorative details. Most Classics have excellent, detailed dreams and ambitions but often their efforts are left incomplete. If this is you, I encourage you to trust others to complete you. No one is good at everything, you are not less of a person when you allow others to finish what you are so good at starting. In fact, being vulnerable makes you more enjoyable–like a rose that can be embraced without fear of getting pricked.

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As an “Image consultant without the shopping obsession,” Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts by unveiling the power and purpose of their personal Image Identity (Img.ID) and teaching them to accentuate their authentic beauty so they can forget about their appearance and think about others. Please consider having her as a speaker for your next event. You can find her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Linked In, Goodreads

You Know You are Dramatic if…

The Dramatic is a fast-paced, hardworking woman who is not afraid to take risks. She has a daring nature that is seemingly uninhibited by the influences around her but the truth is she often has a very sensitive spirit. 

She is like an exotic flower, of which, of course, there are many kinds. I use the Protea to represent the Artsy Dramatic and the Bird of Paradise for the Sophisticated Dramatic. The Dramatic with a flare for art can carry off a costume-like image and come across as fun- like a Protea with its very unusual kind of beauty. The Dramatic who is more sophisticated also stands out with her unique style, but she may be more often included in social circles. Add an exotic flower to any bouquet and it will make a statement at your party; add a lot of them and it may be too much, unless it is a formal event or held in an exquisite hotel.

These women sometimes come across as “too much” when they are together. Their animated character added to their unique beauty seems to draw the assumption that they want all the attention, but like the flowers they actually do better in indirect sunlight and away from where they can be touched. It may take time for this beauty, like the Ugly Duckling, to find her beauty and bloom, but when she does she has a powerful presence and can be very influential in her world. Continue reading You Know You are Dramatic if…

You are the Apple of God’s Eye

If there is anything that can frustrate a person and draw out their truest character, it is misjudgment. Tell a friend you think they are being so kind and generous because they want something from you, discipline a child for something their sibling did, challenge a professional with the accusation that they don’t know what they are doing, and you will see the heart of that person right away.

We all have a desire to be accepted. 

Misjudgment is often interpreted as deep rejection. Especially by those of us who are sensitive beauties. Let’s take Hannah for example.

You find the story of this Dramatic woman in the Old Testament, when it wasn’t uncommon for a man to have more than one wife–especially if his first wife was infertile. Well, that was Hannah. Her husband loved her, but I can’t imagine she didn’t have to fight a huge Beauty Battle to believe that.

Infertility alone will challenge any woman’s confidence. Add to this girl’s challenge Continue reading You are the Apple of God’s Eye

Self-Confidence vs. Confident Beauty

It never ceases to amaze me how many women feel they, or their daughters, are the only ones with Image Issues. It’s not just body image either, anytime we recognize a flaw, fault or weakness in ourselves our confidence may falter. There is only one woman who ever walked this Earth with absolute confidence, and that was quickly manipulated from her. Since then, every daughter of Eve has had to face a Beauty Battle at least once in her life.

Eve was confidently beautiful.

Genesis 2:25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Adam and Eve had it made! Everything they needed was provided for them. Clothing was not necessary, because they had no climate to compete with, no need to impress anyone and most of all, no Image Issues! Any woman who can walk around stark naked is more than self-confident, she is Continue reading Self-Confidence vs. Confident Beauty

How Your Image Issue can Kill Your Friend’s Confidence

You thought your house was clean, and then that surprise visitor stops by. Suddenly you see the dust and details that you had overlooked in the home where you feel so comfortable. If you have had this experience, you are not alone. Even when we prepare for company, and we think our place looks great, showing a guest around changes our perspective because we begin to see things through someone else’s eyes.

Familiarity breads complacency. We dream about owning a home one day and the day we move in we are overjoyed with our accomplishment. But soon our contentment grows complacent. As things begin to wear, we may not even notice–until someone stops by to see the house. That’s when we speak out the all-too-familiar line, “please don’t mind the…”  and point out the very thing that never really bothered us before but mysteriously embarrasses us now.

Why do we do that? Our friend may never have noticed that the door hinge was loose or that our child colored on the wall, but there we go making sure they see it. When someone does that to you, what do you say? Awkward, right? So why do that to others? A house is meant to be lived in. Hinges get old, walls get marked, it doesn’t have to become a Confidence Conflict, does it?

young-959231_640Neither does your body. Continue reading How Your Image Issue can Kill Your Friend’s Confidence

A Mother is Only as Happy as Her Most Miserable Child.

The moment a woman becomes a mother, her life changes.  The very thought of life within her alters her existence. Caring for, nurturing and meeting the needs of her child becomes her purpose and priority. With the cry of his arrival, her needs no longer bear weight compared to his. Whether it’s the dark of night or the dawn of day, every tear he sheds arrests her heart until she can settle him down..

newborn-659685_640Every parent wants their offspring to become healthy, successful, independent men and women of good character. We may not have the best of resources ourselves, but we do the best we can with the physical, emotional and financial strength that we have to offer.

Like delivering them into the world, sending them out on their own can be extremely painful–especially when they are unhappy or unhealthy.

When my first child moved out, he was not a happy young man. My mama-heart received his anger and rebellion as personal rejection and failure. Granted, there were drugs involved, and I was very naive to the depth of the problems, so the emotional turmoil was extra intense. Part of me was refusing to believe that so much could be going wrong in the life of a child I had such high hopes for. The other part of me was tormented by my lack of control over the choices that were being made and my inability to fix–or even understand–the issues.

I became just as miserable as he was.

In fact, I became so consumed with this one child’s issues that I wouldn’t even hear my other children speaking to me. “What did you say?” I’d ask them until eventually they started saying “never mind” before they even finished their requests.  I was neglecting the kids I had left at home for the sake of the one who wanted nothing to do with me. And to what avail? My obsession with the miserable child was producing nothing except more misery.

I had to learn to let go of control because in reality, I had none.

I share this story with you on Mother’s Day weekend simply because I know many of you also suffer with obsession over your grown child’s choices. When they are little, we  don’t need a special holiday to tell us we are amazing. (We know we are because we wipe their tears and change their diapers and make everything better again!) But as they fight for their own identity, we feel as if we lose our own.  It’s during  these times that we could really use a little Mother’s Day love, yet these are the times that it’s least likely they will be making us cute cards and placing wilted flowers on our pillows.


If that’s where you are at today, I want to encourage you to keep being Mom anyway.

mother, son

We can’t fix all our childrens’ problems, but we can pray for them and believe in them. It only takes one cheerleader to change a person’s life and there is no-one who believes in our children’s success as much as their mother. Keep cheering.  Your child may not think you are amazing right now, but that doesn’t mean you are not, so don’t let his emotional state influence yours. Instead, keep influencing him because there’s nothing more beautiful than a mom who holds onto her joy even in the face of misery.
Happy Mother’s Day.

*****

 

Catrina Welch in an Inspirational Author, Speaker, Image- and Life-Coach. Her passion is to help women and girls discover Confident Beauty, which doesn’t wear off like makeup does!  Her latest book, Confident Beauty, Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul is now available as an audiobook.

GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR WOMEN ON CAPE COD:

Catrina will be hosting a Branding your Image Supreme MakeOver on Saturday, May 14th from 9-11am This image assessment class will be focused on helping business and professional women simplify their life with a Confident Closet. Non-professional women are welcome to attend as well. To learn how you can get in for FREE and to save your seat, please click here or contact Catrina today.