Tag Archives: image issues

Aging with Confidence

This Forth of July I hit the big 5-0. People keep telling me that It’s just another number, but it’s a bit of a Confidence Conflict right now and hearing, “it’s no big deal” doesn’t really help.  True that a birthday really only makes us  one day older, but reaching a new decade is difficult.

Aging and body-image

Aging flowers are still beautiful!

As our body ages, wrinkles and sags, our beauty changes. This is life, and really, I’m ok with that.

Kinda.

I mean I should be, right? It’s the message of Confident Beauty: BE and LET BE.

Every flower is beautiful, wether it is budding, blooming or fragrantly falling apart. Continue reading Aging with Confidence

What Makes You Valuable?

Since the beginning of time, every young child has had an innate longing to find the answer to one very important question. With each new experience, interaction and lesson of life, she collects data and applies it toward her answer. Somewhere around the teen years, she hits info-overwhelm. Like a cluttered desk, all that she has collected has piled up and she begins to wonder where the truth is. In her frustration and desperation for answers, she may frantically shuffle through the piles–moving papers–setting aside some ideas, destroying others. In her quest to find the answer, she may make a mess, but no matter how long it takes her or how painful it gets, she must know:   Continue reading What Makes You Valuable?

9 Steps to a Complete Closet Clean Out

Has your clothing closet become a junk room? When you look for an outfit for the day, is it easy? Or is your wardrobe crowded with clutter and chaos cause that cause your daily ritual to become a stressful decision? Let’s be honest, most mornings we do not wear the first outfit we pick. Not all of us can throw on any old jeans and T-shirt and be fine with how it looks. Natural Beauties may get away with that if their lifestyle allows for such simplicity, but they also have a tendency to hold onto things and are still susceptible to the Confidence Conflict that a crowded closet creates.

Less is more

It doesn’t really matter what size or shape your closet is, you can create an organized, inspiring sanctuary where you can start your day with simple decisions. The key is to be sure you have complete outfits, with nothing “unwearable” confusing your choices. In last week’s blog, we considered how sometimes simple Wardrobe Weeding is enough to keep your closet from clutter.

Join my email list and I will send you my FREE WARDROBE WEEDING CHEATSHEET, Click here to get FREE PDF.

When Wardrobe Weeding is not enough, and you need to start all over, it’s time to do a Complete Closet Clean Out. This doesn’t mean that you cannot keep anything you already have, but it may be time to step back and take a whole new perspective on your wardrobe.

If you are like me, when you feel overwhelmed, you may need a nudge. Completely changing up your closet may seem like too much work, but I assure you that once you get started, you will feel inspired. I did my closet this week (thanks for the nudge!) and I feel so empowered by the simplicity of having less to wear. In truth, I don’t have any less, because most of the things I removed I couldn’t really wear–or  felt uncomfortable or self-conscious in– anyway, and now I am free from their temptation to rob my confidence!

I want you to experience this wonderful feeling, so I am sharing the nine-step process:

  1. Remove the misfits. Anything in your closet that does not help you get dressed for the day. If “wardrobe” does not define it; find it another place for it to belong. The ironing board can stay, but only if you have room for it; the broom and Christmas decor can not!
  2. Remove all the clothes. Yes, that’s right every stitch of clothing in your drawers, on the shelves or hanging up; take them out of the closet and put them somewhere that you can sort through them, piece by piece. I recommend pulling them out by “likes” and stacking/hanging them together in groups of slacks, jeans, skirts, etc.
  3. Clean. Vacuum, dust, wipe down every nook and cranny of your closet and dressers. Make it smell and feel inviting and inspiring. Ahh, now you can say, “look, honey, I have NOTHING to wear!” …or do you?
  4. Get dressed. Look at all the clothes you have piled on your bed, what’s there that you really love to wear? Pull one outfit out and put it on. Does it still fit well? Is it in good repair? If not, go back to your Wardrobe Weeding Cheatsheet (Click here to get FREE PDF)  and follow the check list for what to do next. If it does fit, is in good condition and makes you feel confident, then  go to the next step:
  5. Complete the outfit. That’s right, whether you are going out tonight or not (and you’ve got a lot to do, so I’d recommend clearing the calendar for the day) get dressed up–jewelry, shoes, purse and everything. Then take a selfie. When you are done with your Closet Clean Out you will have a whole album of selfies to remind you of #What2Wear next time you feel you have nothing.
  6. Purposefully put it away. With your first (and favorite) outfit, think carefully. As you undress, consider where each item should go. Place your shoes and jewels where they are visible. Carefully fold, roll or hang each clothing item so that they take as little space as the fabric allows without causing wrinkles. Place them in areas that make logical sense to you. You may want to keep the outfit all together or organize the items by size, sleeve or color. Note: For ideas and tips on how to organize your closet, please follow my social medias as I will be focusing on this all week.Follow me on FacebookFollow me on TwitterFollow me on LinkedInFollow me on PinterestFollow me on RSS
  7. Repeat. Pick out another outfit and complete it with only clothing/accessories you have not yet put away. Take another pic and purposefully put away each item in that outfit. There will come a time when you need to re-use certain items to complete another outfit; that is fine, but try to create as many unique outfits as you can before mixing and matching. Continue doing this until you have created as many outfits as you need for your current lifestyle (in the current season). If you cannot complete enough outfits, make a shopping list of specific items you need. It’s a good idea to take a pic of anything you hope to match so that you can refer to it when shopping. Note: If you would like my Closet Audit Cheatsheet to help you with this, please comment or contact me and I will email you a great PDF chart that simplifies this.
  8. Eliminate the excess. Any clothes that are still laying on your bed that you simply do not want to put on, wether it is because they are uncomfortable, misfits, or make you feel self-conscious, get rid of (again, refer to your Wardrobe Weeding Cheatsheet Click here to get FREE PDF). Do not leave clothes out to disturb the peace in your bedroom. It would be silly to put in all this effort to create a Confident Closet only to make other areas of the house chaos and confusion, right? Cross the finish line.
  9. Decorate. Now, step back into/up to your closet and take a good look around. Chances are your heart is jumping for joy… and wanting to do the same thing for your husband’s side… (another day). Without all the extra clutter, what can you do to make this space more beautiful? Something that brings you peace and joy, like a picture from your honeymoon,  a framed scripture, bouquet of flowers or simply the placement of your pretty purses?Note: I’ll be posting ideas this week on my social medias, so remember to check in. Follow me on FacebookFollow me on TwitterFollow me on LinkedInFollow me on PinterestFollow me on RSS

You did it! Now there’s only one more thing to do. Go, enjoy the fruit of your labor!

****

For more on Confidence Beauty Image- and Life-Coaching, or to learn about Catrina's Supreme MakeOver Image Assessment Parties, be sure to visit www.CatrinaWelch.com

Do Ashes Cover your Beauty?

My nieces were leaning on the edges of their seats, intrigued by the age-old story of Cinderella. My daughter was playing the role of the mistreated orphan who didn’t give up when life dealt her difficulties. Watching her performance through the eyes of the children had me reminiscing of the days when Tori’s  dream of being a princess wasn’t a performance in a play.

Little girls aren’t ashamed of their desires.

Deep within every female heart is a desire not only  to catch the eye of a prince, but to leave behind their meaningless, unappreciated lives and live an adventure.  Remember when you once thought you would  play an irreplaceable role in a most wonderful life in a far away place?

I remember my daughter’s first “princes dress.” She loved to twirl around to show her daddy how  full and beautiful it was on her. It made me panic.

I was afraid my little girl was becoming vain, so I did as most people who witness such behavior would: I talked her right off of her high and mighty horse and back into reality. Modesty is a golden virtue, right?  It’s our job to train our children in the way they should go, and the chances of my kid  becoming a princess is quite slim, so as a mom I thought it wise to protect her from life’s disappointments!

Surely that’s what Cinderella’s stepmother was thinking as well.

As we grow up, we reason that our desires are childish.

I love that my teen still freely enjoys “twirling” for an audience. She has a gift for acting and singing. When I was young, I was embarrassed by my love for the arts. I guess I was more like Cinderella that my daughter is.

“Cinderella, your are so SELFISH! Mend my dress!”

As her family demanded she worked for their dreams–while throwing insults at her’s–Cinderella was forgetting who she was designed to be. Like the filthy soot that covered her beautiful face, she allowed her burnt-out dreams–the cinders–to cover her identity. Her real name was Ella.

We cannot accomplish big dreams with squelched desires

We are all tempted to give up on our dreams. We also  have the option of pressing through life's oppositions  toward success. The way you respond to that second option is a big indicator of your Img.ID:

C: Get the education; do the work (The Classic)

N: Stay optimistic and loyal; don’t give up (The Natural)

D: Creatively make it happen (The Dramatic)

I:  Tenaciously hold your ground (The Ingénue)

R: Considerately continue on; quietly accomplishing (The Romantic)

G: Work hard; fight to get it done. Now. (The Gamine)

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

Whether your dream is to  rule a nation or to have a happy family, you will only have the strength to accomplish it if you do not allow  the desire for it to burn out. Whichever way you or I respond to those who try to squelch our desires, we would all be wise to listen to the advice of the fairy god-mother, who says there are two morals to the story of Cinderella’s Glass Slipper:

  1. Be kinder and life will go well for you. Don’t act out of jealousy or be demanding like the stepsisters. You were dealt a certain hand; play with the cards you have. Forcing others to play your hand or to give your their’s is wrong. In the end, no one who cheats wins.
  2. If the shoe fits, wear it. Don’t cover your beauty with ashes. BE who you were designed to be.  A princess cannot lead well if she feels guilty for (or embarrassed by) her gifts, privileges and abilities.  Remember where you came from, or pride will  rob you of the joy of using your blessing to  bless others.

In the end, Cinderella figured out she was only beautiful when she became confident, so she washed off the ashes and put on her crown. Are you ready to do the same?

For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.  -Luke 12:48b

*****

As an author and speaker, Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, Catrina now uses her profession, her own powerful stories and her training as a Biblical life-coach to reach the heart in a way that is relatable, encouraging and inspiring. Her message is balanced with both fashion and faith and is making a difference  in the lives of women and girls all over!  To be part of this movement, connect with her on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  and consider having her speak at your next event. Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.

How Rhythm Affects Confidence

Consider the weather patterns and the cycles of seasons. The ocean’s tides ebb and flow aw the moon waxes and wanes. We literally schedule our lives around by the rhythm of nature. If there were ever a pause in the rising or setting of the sun, we would all panic.

It’s not just your surroundings that has rhythms. So does your body. Your breath and heartbeat have patterns; so do your physical needs, such as eating, sleeping and… getting your hair done.
When I worked in the salon, I was always fascinated by the different responses my clients had regarding scheduling their next appointment. I could always count on the Classic and the Gamine to fill my book six weeks out. The others, not so much. The Ingénue and Romantics were concerned someone else might need them and they did not want to say, “no” to anyone (or cancel on me!), so they would  shy away from rescheduling. The Natural doesn’t like to spend money and, to her, haircuts are a frivolous expenses. Besides, they do well with “wash-n-wear” styles that don’t need as much upkeep. The Dramatic, on the other hand, wants another appointment–she loves beauty treatments, but her spontaneous nature doesn’t like being committed to something that might keep her from another opportunity.

Yes, I may be generalizing. Your Img.ID is not the sole factor in how often you get your hair done–life is far more complicated than that–but, still, let’s consider why it’s so hard for most women to schedule time for themselves.


The way you feel about self-care is a big indicator of your Img.ID:

C: It’s necessary, professional and a private matter (Classic)

N: Haircuts are only worth the time or money when it’s necessary and practical (Natural)

D: Style and hygiene are important. Hair is a creative tool of expression. (Dramatic)

I: I love to be creative with my hair myself. There’s no need for someone else to fuss over me. (Ingénue)

R: I’d love to get pampered and made beautiful, but it feels selfish. (Romantic)

G: Maintaining a clean-cut appearance is vital to my identity. I like to have fun with my hair. (Gamine

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

Find your rhythm

As professionals, most hairdressers will suggest another appointment before you check out of the salon. (It helps us to keep working, but more than that, it ensures that the client will be able to secure her favored stylist.) I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had a clients shocked that she needed me exactly when I wanted to schedule her.

If you have long, one length hair, you may be able to stretch out the time between your haircuts, but if you wear your hair with any kind of a style, I would recommend you figure out how often you will need a trim and plan accordingly. Most women need their hair cut every six to eight weeks. If you wear very short hair, then you may need two cuts within that time.

Hair grows. You may not be able to set your clock by the  rhythm of your follicle growth, but you can count on it enough to put some maintenance time in your calendar.

If you struggle with taking time for, or spending money on, your hair, I challenge you to consider your thoughts. Do you also feel guilty when you need to sleep or eat? I hope not! A woman with Confident Beauty knows her needs and takes responsibility for meeting them (including when that means asking for help). I think we could all learn from the rhythms of nature.

We all  take the time to sleep every day. We all buy groceries  every week. And we all have some things we need to take care of every month or so–like a haircut.

Think about it.

When we find the rhythm for taking care of our hair like we do our other cycles, we don’t have to go through the emotional torment of trying to decide if we need or deserve a little salon time  or not. Instead, when our hair starts to frizz or flop, we can rest assured in the confidence that we already have an appointment

No guilt. No shame. No need to justify, excuse or explain. Just pure and simple self-care.

*****

As an author and speaker, Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, Catrina now uses her profession, her own powerful stories and her training as a Biblical life-coach to reach the heart in a way that is relatable, encouraging and inspiring. Her message is balanced with both fashion and faith and is making a difference  in the lives of women and girls all over!  To be part of this movement, connect with her on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  and consider having her speak at your next event. Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.

5 Practices for Overcoming Self-Consciousness

It seems obvious that the tendency to compare your life with others’ is second nature and cannot be stopped.

IMG_2099No wonder the social media has created such an epidemic of self-consciousness. With each visit to Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest… we find ourselves faced with the temptation to compare our lives to the pictures we see. We know, of course,  that what we are only shown the “postable” parts of our friends’ lives, but we still compare what we see to the parts of our lives that we would never post.

And they compare their “un-postables” with our “postables”. Continue reading 5 Practices for Overcoming Self-Consciousness

4 Steps to Dressing True to You

When you walk into a room which shows up first, you or your clothing?
One way to find out is to listen to the compliments you get. Are about you or your outfit?There’s a big difference between, “You look beautiful!” and “What a beautiful dress!” As women, we enjoy a compliment, and we should. It’s like a hug that simply affirms us and encourages our spirit.

The bearhug of all compliments–the I want for every one of my clients–is: “Oh, wow, that is so YOU!” The wow factor is by far the biggest confidence booster, don’t you think? How often do you get a “wow”?

I’m sorry. I know,  that was a painful question.

I don’t get them very often either, and, hey, I know how to dress true to myself.

shy-863056_640In reality,  it takes a confident, generous person to give away such a valuable thing as words of affirmation–especially when Continue reading 4 Steps to Dressing True to You

When Looking Good is the Last Concern

fullsizeoutput_1541If you ever want to find out if you have Image Issues, go skiing in extremely cold conditions and see if you care how you look.

Last weekend’s fierce winds brought the wind-chill factor down to a negative twenty-five degrees, but that didn’t take into account the wet snow on my exposed cheeks. It was literally painful; an adventure I would never have even considered years ago when I was young enough to handle it (and dumb enough to only have cute ski gear!).

I wasn’t brave when I was young. I didn’t take risks. Somehow I got the impression that the comfort-zone was where i’d find peace. I didn’t find it there.

There is no peace in taking the easy way out of a challenge; there is only disappointment and the stress of trying to change the circumstances. When I was on that mountain too cold to cope, all i could focus on was the weather and, at my skill-level, it is not safe to think of anything other than navigating the slopes. i couldn’t just quit because the only way back to warmth was to take another lift and ski there.

Keep going.

We cannot always get out of fierce and frightening situations. Sometimes we must find a way to conquer our mountain. I heard from a lot of you regarding my blog last week and I know many of you are facing very difficult mountains right now. You feel like you are on a slippery slope in a nasty storm with no proper equipment and no knowledge of how to ski. Some of you have also lost a Trisomy 18 baby or are dealing with a loved one’s depression or addiction.

You are not alone.

We may be far from our comfort-zone, but we can still have peace. When we can’t move the mountain or change the weather, we can still bundle up and enjoy the ride. When I was losing hope skiing, I decided to stop pushing through the pain and let my husband know I couldn’t take it anymore. I was so grateful when he patiently adjusted my equipment and strongly assured me that I could finish the run.

The funny thing is, once he fixed my face mask and I was properly protected, I was able to enjoy the experience again.

And we skied all day.

Yes, it was still bitter cold, but I was no longer rawly exposed to it’s danger. I had the upper hand. I was prepared, which disarmed my fears.

When I got cold again, we stopped again.

Most of all, we enjoyed the adventure of conquering a challenge.

If you are freezing and fearful as you face your mountain today, I encourage you to stop a moment and share your heart with someone who can help you adjust your gear. Maybe you could help them with their’s, too, because more then likely they need to figure out the mountain, too. Life is not a comfort-zone; it’s an adventure and it’s the difficulties that make the greatest adventures. Be brave, take care of yourself  and enjoy the thrill of conquering your mountain. You can do this!

After all, skiing is simply falling gracefully.

*****

As an author and speaker, Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, Catrina now uses her profession, her own powerful stories and her training as a Biblical life-coach to reach the heart in a way that is relatable, encouraging and inspiring. Her message is balanced with both fashion and faith and is making a difference  in the lives of women and girls all over!  To be part of this movement, connect with her on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  and consider having her speak at your next event. Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.

When Beauty Triggers Ugly

By definition, an Ingénue (pronounced: änjəˌno͞o) is an innocent or unsophisticated young woman, especially one in a play or film. The Ingénue Image Identity is the Delicate Beauty. She typically has tight skin, a petite figure, softly feminine facial features and a sweet, gentle voice. Ingénues are almost always assumed younger Continue reading When Beauty Triggers Ugly

Your Strength is the Battlefield for your Confidence

By definition, anything dramatic is theatrical, obvious, exciting, exaggerated, striking.

The Dramatic Image Identity has a penchant and passion for the arts, fashion and beauty. Because of this woman’s strength is her eye for detail and gift in creativity, she also does  well in areas of architecture and design.

Dramatics are tall women with long, straight features and bold coloring (unless they are a combination Img.ID) who have a strong presence about them. They are exciting, inviting and highly influential.

Yet they seldom know it. Continue reading Your Strength is the Battlefield for your Confidence