Tag Archives: image issues

How Confidence and Beauty Intertwine

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  • When a woman believes she looks beautiful, she feels confident.
  • When a woman is confident, she radiates beauty.

It really doesn’t matter which style she is nor how tall, slim or old she is. The color of her eyes, hair or skin do not change the fact, nor does her nationality, upbringing or experiences in life.

A woman’s beauty is far more about what she believes than what she wears.

  • A young, buff, high-fashioned, fully-serviced diva who is mean and rude is not beautiful at all.
  • An old, wrinkled, out of shape, compassionate woman of wisdom is absolutely lovely.
  • A supermodel who hates herself is not beautiful.
  • An abused and neglected woman with strength and hope is stunning and inspiring.

I’ve spent 30 years teaching women and girls how to accentuate their beauty–that’s easy. Guiding her through Image Issues is not–mostly because it is so rare that she wants to deal with the mirror and the soul at the same time.

  • A girl who feels ugly, unwanted, invisible and inadequate may strive to perfect her image, or she may loose all confidence of ever being beautiful.
  • A girl who feels her image is her worth may strive to keep her confidence with beauty which is never satisfied and constantly changing. Or she may hate the attention she attracts and the pain beauty causes.

These women either love me (as an image coach) or avoid me because beauty can be a painful and embarrassing topic.

Confident Beauty is not found in the mirror until it is settled in the soul.

It takes a brave and mature woman to Continue reading How Confidence and Beauty Intertwine →

3 Rules for Dressing Up

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“Tis the season for family gatherings and celebrations. With all the parties to attend, Image Issues easily arise. In order to feel confident at the festivities you attend, here are three general rules for What2Wear:

  • Know the formality

girl-775342_640Perhaps you have faced this Confidence Conflict: You thought the party was formal, so you show up all decked out, only to find your friends in jeans and tees. You feel like a fool, as if you were trying to demand attention; a show off. A Drama Queen. (Yea, this happens to the Dramatic, the Exotic Beauty, quite often.)

Or perhaps it was the other way around, and you under-dressed for a more formal event. This is just as awkward (this is more apt to happen to the Natural, the Casual Beauty or the Gamine, the Bold Beauty).

To avoid the uncomfortable feeling of not fitting in, know the formality

Continue reading 3 Rules for Dressing Up →

Are you Thankful for Your Beauty?

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A woman’s home is a big indication of her heart.

My husband’s company just finished a small development of quaint, custom homes in the same village where he has been building elaborate masterpieces for many years. This was our first time doing a whole neighborhood and I found the social dynamics very interesting. Because a woman’s home is a significant part of her identity, I feel it an appropriate topic for a blog on Confident Beauty.

You were custom built.

Some developments are cookie-cutter; each house is the same style. In our development there are six different styles. Because there are only eleven homes and the styles which are duplicated are either mirrored, turned or altered in some way, none of them look alike. Whether the house was purchased before, during or after completion, each home has details that are crafted specifically for the homeowner, increasing the variety even more.

There are only six different styles of feminine beauty and yet no two women are alike. You may be a short, full-figured, curly-hair blonde with a round face, blue eyes and a button nose, but that doesn’t mean you look anything like another woman of the same description. This is because Continue reading Are you Thankful for Your Beauty? →

3 Guidelines for Choosing the Right Shoe

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Your shoes make or break your outfit.

I cannot tell you how many times I have had a friend or client call in a panic over how to complete the outfit she has chosen for a formal affair. Perhaps you have been there yourself: you found the perfect dress and figured the shoes in your closet would be just fine but now you put it all together and it simply doesn’t work.

Subconsciously, we all know that the style, weight, texture and color of the shoe should always compliment the outfit, but we until we see them together, our mind’s eye may think the new dress will work out well with what already have. Yet far too often we are wrong and if we don’t try them on together until the big day, we may very well have a serious Image Issue on our hands.

This is one of the reasons understanding your style and coloring can save you a lot of trouble. If you always follow the guidelines for your Image Identity, you will almost always find that each item you add to your closet works well with the rest of it. This is not reality, however, even for those of us who are pretty strict about staying true to our authentic style.

You could be as careful about your choices in style as an image consultant is, yet still find that a special occasion needs special attention to detail when it comes to finding the right shoe. This makes sense, of course, because if the outfit is not something you wear every day, why should you expect it to work well with the shoes you wear everyday? Here are three important details you should consider when choosing a shoe for a special outfit:

  1. The formality: a gown deserves a heel. A dressy outfit deserves more than a sneaker. Not much needs to be said here; most people know not to wear their slippers on a date.
  2. The weight and texture of your shoe should always compliment the fabric in the clothes you are wearing. A heavy jean can carry a heavy leather, but wear a light, lacy dress with a heavy boot and you will make a conflictive statement about who you are–unless, of course, you are an eccentric combination of the casual and delicate beauties.
  3. The color: always choose a shoe that is darker than your hemline for formal occasions–unless you want all the attention drawn to your foot, which you very well may want to.

Always remember that image guidelines are just that, a guide. Like the yellow lines that guide your driving, there are times when it is perfectly fine to break the rules, but when you do, be sure you are intentionally making that choice in order to make a statement and that you are comfortable with the attention it brings.

Your shoe preference is a big indicator of your Img.ID:
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C:  Quality (The Classic holds onto her shoes for many years.)

N: Practical (To the Natural, comfort is far more important than style.)

D: Style (The Dramatic likes to stay current with fashion.)

I: Femininity (The Ingénue loves dainty shoes.)
R: Quantity (The Romantic loves heels but seldom actually wears them.)

G: Fun (The Gamine prefers comfort, but should be sure her shoes make a statement.) 

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

 

In general, it is good to know #What2Wear, not so that we stress out about following rules, but so that we don’t become overwhelmed by all the options available to us. For those times when you find a shoe that you just have to wear–no matter what your guidelines say–consider them your “statement piece.” There’s only so many personalities that are comfortable with making a statement, but if that’s you, make sure you do it with confidence, after all, confidence, not guidelines, is what makes a woman beautiful!

For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.   -Ephesians 6:15

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As an “Image consultant without the shopping obsession,” I help women and girls overcome confidence conflicts by unveiling the power and purpose of their personal Image Identity (Img.ID) and teach them to accentuate their authentic beauty so they can forget about their appearance and think about others. Please consider me as a speaker for your next event. You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Linked In, Goodreads. For ideas of What2Wear, find me on Pinterest where I have a board for each personal Img.ID or consider reading Confident Beauty or Know Who You Are.

 

Transitioning Your Wardrobe for the New Season

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For those of us in New England, it’s time to transition the wardrobe. Although we are still having some fair weather, the light summer clothing is just not going to do it much longer.

As Autumn sets in and you pull out last year’s warmer wardrobe, do you find yourself excited to wear those items again? If not, it may be time to do the dreaded weeding. Theoretically, the things you put away last year should only be things that you love, are in good condition and still fit… or at least still fit last spring. Yet in reality, most of us throw last season’s clothing into our storage area without considering if we will ever wear it again or not. Now, as the weather demands we pull them out again and restock our closet, we look at our options and feel this looming dread and frustration over What2Wear.

There is plenty of choices hanging before us, yet we cry out, “I have nothing to wear!”

 

What would you do?

It’s a cool autumn day and you need a light jacket, so you go through what you have only to find that last year’s favorite is now a bit snug, has a stain and is missing a button. There's a number of ways you could deal with this Image Issue:

C: Bring it to the drycleaner and seamstress and wear it for a few more years.

N: Keep your chin up and wear it anyway.

D: Leave it in your closet and go buy a cute new jacket and tell your husband you’ve had it forever.

I: Leave it in your closet and go without a jacket.

R: Leave it in your closet and wear a favorite sweatshirt instead.

G: Same as D, but tell your husband (and anyone else who questions or comments) that you got an amazing deal.


Note: These choices represent the typical responses of each Image Identity. Click the letter to learn more about that style, including What2Wear.

dresses-53319_640Science has proven over and over again that we are more confident about making any decision if there are fewer choices. Yet for some reason our nature reasons that we should “keep our options wide open” and not throw out anything we already possess.

 

The guilt over waste

Since early childhood we have been trained not to waste. After all, there are starving, naked children all over this world. Everyone knows that good people should be resourceful and respectful with what they have. We live in a greedy, materialistic society, but if we want to be honorable citizens, we should be content with that which we have. Right?

But isn’t sharing our hand-me-downs with Salvation Army more resourceful and respectful than hording our unwanted items in our cluttered closet? And isn’t clinging to things we don’t even want more of an indicator of materialism than it is of contentment? Honestly, I think the real issue is more about fear than it is values. I know I’m guilty of being afraid that, if I give away that stupid jacket, I will wish I still had it. Have you ever been afraid you won’t find something else to replace your worn out favorite? Or that you will forget the memory it represents… or that the person who gave it to you will find out you don’t really like it. Yet there’s a good chance they don’t even remember, because they haven’t seen you wear it in years anyway.

Take a picture of it.

Just saying.

When we get right down to the matter, I think we hold onto things because we are afraid we are being wasteful or ungrateful or that mom will find out we are no longer frugal.  We are afraid of what other people think.

Maybe it’s time we get over our fears and begin to weed out anything in our wardrobe that holds us back from being a Confident Beauty.

*****

As an “Image consultant without the shopping obsession,” I help women and girls overcome confidence conflicts by unveiling the power and purpose of their personal Image Identity (Img.ID) and teach them to accentuate their authentic beauty so they can forget about their appearance and think about others. Please consider me as a speaker for your next event. You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Linked In, Goodreads. For ideas of What2Wear, find me on Pinterest where I have a board for each personal Img.ID.

How Discomfort Creates Confidence

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If you have ever been in an uncomfortable situation, you know that your confidence is the first thing affected. Think about the last time you found yourself shaking in your boots. What made you feel self-conscious, was it when:

  • You were physically, emotionally or spiritually challenged?
  • You received personal, unwanted feedback regarding something you need to improve?
  • You did, said or dressed inappropriately?

There will always be times in our lives when we step out–or are pushed out–of our comfort zone. The key to success is embracing these times so that they create something new in us instead of squelching us. Last week I shared with you how my new assistant coaching position has challenged my confidence. I wish I could say I have it all figured out now and I’m feeling like a Confident Beauty. But I haven’t, and I don’t. But I am loving the challenge. It’s physically strenuous, emotionally daunting and honestly spiritually challenging (my pride is really struggling!). I’m definitely not the victor in all arenas, but I have to say, Continue reading How Discomfort Creates Confidence →

3 Ways to Deal with Back to School Blues

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For many girls all over the world, this week is the most difficult one of their lives. After Labor Day Weekend, they must go into new territory and face many challenges and insecurities. New Schools, new teachers, peers. studies, sports and activities.

Not to mention new outfits!

Fear of the unknown is one of the strongest Confidence Conflict we will ever face.

I am personally challenged by the unknown this season. As the new assistant coach to daughter’s volleyball team, I find myself in a familiar position of awkwardness. Having little understanding of the sport and very weak skills, I feel in adequate and unqualified. It has been several decades since I have been in high school, yet I find myself battling the same Confidence Conflicts as the kids I am coaching.

Yesterday, the head coach was showing us a funny, dance-like move to spike the ball with power. The first attempt at practicing it was half-hearted and hysterical. Laughter is a great way to hide our embarrassment–at least we don’t feel alone.

Or at least we don’t look like we feel alone.

After the first run through the drill, coach asked our players how many of them felt like they “got it.”

No one did.

My wise, new friend helped the players realized they were not alone in struggling with their new skill. Once they believed that, they were able to forget about how silly they looked and focus on giving it some real effort. It was astounding how much better they were with their second run through the drill!

If you have ever had to learn a new skill, taken on a new position, entered a new environment or had to make new friends, then you know that awkward feeling of not knowing what to do. This can be exceptionally difficult if you do not know who you are or where you stand. Whether you are starting school or a new job, when you don’t know the building, the people, the plan or the requirements, there's a number of ways you could respond: 

C:volleyball-1531786_640 Study hard and figure it out.

N: Play it cool, stay quiet, watch those around you to find a way.

D: Feel defeated, become consumed by your failures.

I: Quietly shut down and pretend there is no problem.

R: Encourage everyone else–while feeling stupid and beating yourself up.

G: Take charge, point out other people's mistakes and try to hide your own.
 
Note: These choices represent the typical responses of each Image Identity. Click the letter to learn more about that style, including What2Wear.

We cannot master anything we do not understand and only a heart that is humble is teachable.

Self-talk is the key to succeeding at anything. Every one of us will feel stupid and out of place many times in our lives, especially when facing something new. It doesn’t matter how old we are or what we have accomplished, there will always be something we haven’t done before.

Like volleyball for me. I thought I was bringing some amazing life skills to encourage the team with, instead I am receiving them because these girls are the ones encouraging me!

Whether we think we can or think we can’t, we are right.

Like the follow-through of any ball we throw, hit, spike or putt, our thoughts determine the direction of our confidence. Basically, we have 3 choices:

  1. Ignore or down-play the challenge to hide our feelings of inadequacy–but hinder our ability to improve.
  2. Exaggerate the challenge to disguise our inadequacy–but give it the power to consume us or leave us feeling defeated and desolate.
  3. Accept the challenge for what it is–empowering us to learn and improve.

If you are heading off to a new environment or position this week, I encourage you to join me in stepping out of the fear of the unknown and taking on the challenge with confidence. Anything new is awkward for a little while. Let’s give ourselves time. If we stay humble enough to be teachable, all our fears will be replaced with confidence as we realize we are not alone. We are not stupid or inadequate; we are learning and we are improving and that is nothing to feel embarrassed about.

Go Eagles!

*****

As an “Image consultant without the shopping obsession,” I help women and girls overcome confidence conflicts by unveiling the power and purpose of their personal Image Identity (Img.ID) and teach them to accentuate their authentic beauty so they can forget about their appearance and think about others. Please consider me as a speaker for your next event. You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Linked In, Goodreads. For ideas of What2Wear, find me on Pinterest where I have a board for each personal Img.ID.

You Know You Are a Bold Beauty if…

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Character: The Gamine comes across as a very confident woman, because she has learned to stand tall though she is often towered over by her peers. She is very opinionated and has a way of persuading others to be of the same opinion; she is not afraid to say it like it is.

The Gamine is much like the Calla Lilly; she is strong, sturdy and full of color and variety. The trumpet-shaped petals of the Calla Lilly are bright and bold and contrast with its thick leaves or any secondary color it may have. This flower can endure almost any condition; the more colorful it is the more it may need warmth, but the white ones bloom even in stormy, cold conditions. We need Gamines in this world; they thrive in situations where most of us would not know what to do. When they see crisis, they jump to action—like the flower that pokes through the ground before the rest of the plant. When the Calla Lilly does that, a new gardener might get the impression that something is wrong; when Gamines suddenly appear with their opinions or corrections, they may give off a first impression that doesn’t accurately display their true nature. She may appear to be judgmental, but the truth is she is passionate about justice. Sometimes this woman’s eagerness to fix things is like the Calla Lilly’s fragrance (which isn’t as appealing as most flowers), and people may step back from her, but she will always be admired, even if it’s from a distance, because this woman’s powerful presence is undeniable.

Calla-LilyGamines are focused women who know how to have fun. Sometimes their focus makes them forget about fun, Continue reading You Know You Are a Bold Beauty if… →

You Know You are a Classic Beauty if…

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Character: The Classic woman is the epitome of elegance, especially if she is a Summer or Spring; although she can be any season.

Classic women are very refined and poised. They are thinkers and planners. They watch what is going on around them, they study, they gain wisdom and they act on their knowledge without concern for their reputation. They do what is right even if others do not understand them. In fact, once they are convinced of something it is very hard to get them to change their mind.

Classics live a balanced life, they tend to eat right and exercise, they work hard and take the vacation time they earn. The Classic is not only organized and orderly, but she needs to be; in fact, chaos will quite often bring out the worst in her. When things get out of control she may get stressed, but rarely does she get caught up in the moment. She may be emotional by nature, but she is controlled and rational in mannerism.

RoseI use the rose to represent the Classic because she is a refined beauty. She is dignified and sophisticated and stable in all her ways. She is graceful and conservative and a pleasure to look at. She has a balanced figure and proportionate features and tends to have her professional look all together, with everything coordinated and accessorized, (though it may be outdated).

This woman is hard to get close to. Like the rose, she has a guard about her. In her younger years she is tight and withdrawn and a bit protective of her heart and habits. When she is upset she may speak with sharp words, but she doesn’t have to say much. People respect her. As she matures she opens up and those willing to risk knowing her can easily remove her thorns. Her wisdom and skills are often a sweet aroma to those who need her.

We all need a Classic in our lives; they make great mentors. Unfortunately, many Classics are left to pursue their great ambitions alone because those who don’t understand her passion to make things better may consider her critical, or stuck in her ways, but those that know her will agree that her stability brings security and her wisdom and administrative skills are valuable.

If you are a Classic, I encourage you to remember that you elegant beauty is best enjoyed when it is complimenting other types of beauty. A single rose in a vase is lovely but a rose properly placed in a bouquet, or surrounded by baby’s breath is captivating and inviting. Most women guard their hearts by determining to not need others. As a Classic, you may need to fight the tendency to stand alone even more than most women. Others need what you have to offer, and, honestly, you need others to accentuate what you have to offer.

One example of this is in home decorating. You may very likely be a Classic if your home has high quality furnishings but is missing the finishing touches and decorative details. Most Classics have excellent, detailed dreams and ambitions but often their efforts are left incomplete. If this is you, I encourage you to trust others to complete you. No one is good at everything, you are not less of a person when you allow others to finish what you are so good at starting. In fact, being vulnerable makes you more enjoyable–like a rose that can be embraced without fear of getting pricked.

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As an “Image consultant without the shopping obsession,” Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts by unveiling the power and purpose of their personal Image Identity (Img.ID) and teaching them to accentuate their authentic beauty so they can forget about their appearance and think about others. Please consider having her as a speaker for your next event. You can find her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Linked In, Goodreads

You Know You are Dramatic if…

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The Dramatic is a fast-paced, hardworking woman who is not afraid to take risks. She has a daring nature that is seemingly uninhibited by the influences around her but the truth is she often has a very sensitive spirit. 

She is like an exotic flower, of which, of course, there are many kinds. I use the Protea to represent the Artsy Dramatic and the Bird of Paradise for the Sophisticated Dramatic. The Dramatic with a flare for art can carry off a costume-like image and come across as fun- like a Protea with its very unusual kind of beauty. The Dramatic who is more sophisticated also stands out with her unique style, but she may be more often included in social circles. Add an exotic flower to any bouquet and it will make a statement at your party; add a lot of them and it may be too much, unless it is a formal event or held in an exquisite hotel.

These women sometimes come across as “too much” when they are together. Their animated character added to their unique beauty seems to draw the assumption that they want all the attention, but like the flowers they actually do better in indirect sunlight and away from where they can be touched. It may take time for this beauty, like the Ugly Duckling, to find her beauty and bloom, but when she does she has a powerful presence and can be very influential in her world. Continue reading You Know You are Dramatic if… →