With the first hospital visit, adults begin “speaking life” over your baby:
He’s so big!
As children grow, we naturally announce and affirm each progression of their development:
Look how he holds his head up.
She took her first step!
A healthy self-esteem is encouraged.
Every child comes into this world with the need to understand their purpose and value and the answers naturally come from their environment and the things we teach them.
If you have a healthy self-image, then chances are your children will have less of a hang up on their appearance.
But not necessarily.
What if you have a completely different style and personality than your daughter? Maybe you love fashion and formal events are a big part of your life. You feel great when you are dressed up and socializing, but your daughter resists anything social and hates when you make a fuss about what she wears. Should you “encourage her” to be more like you? Do you release her “do her own thing”?
We don’t always know what to do. We may take one approach to handling these conflicts and then change our mind and do the opposite. Wether we try to “encourage” or “release” we feel guilty and we cause confusion because we are unsure.
Certainty creates confidence
After twenty years of teaching people about the six various clothing personalities, I am still amazed at how much it helps a woman’s confidence when she learns her personal Image Identity (Img.ID). It’s very much like the liberation one feels when they learn they are task-oriented vs. people oriented or introverted vs extraverted. Understanding yourself sets you free from trying to be something you are not.
It’s really not that simple, though.
One of the biggest hurdles I face when helping a client let go of her insecurities about her image, is the expectations put on her as a child–by her environment and her own reasoning.
Children form so many of their understandings from the things they see and hear.
“Mom is happy when she looks beautiful. I’m uncomfortable dressing up, I can’t be beautiful.”
Their reasoning is not always logical; they are children.
If we don’t talk to tour kids about self-image, their logic may never change. (Until, of course, they encounter a Supreme MakeOver, but that’s a blog for another day. Right now I am on a mission to help parents understand their children’s Img.ID so that they can teach them to BE who they were designed to be.)Talking to a child about body image and self-confidence is sometimes awkward, but the earlier we do it the easier it is and the more effective our teaching.
“Imagine how confident the next generation will be when they learn to accept and appreciate their distinct, authentic style while they are still young.”
This is why I wrote Know Who You Are–for Kids!
Over the next six weeks I will be introducing to you the 12 characters in this new children’s book. Journey with me–and Katy (the Natural)–as we consider the different strengths of each of her friends, who each represent a different style. My hope is that each child who hears about Katy’s struggle with body image and self-esteem will learn from her revelation and also find the confidence to be all that God designed them to be.
If this topic interests you, would you help me spread the word about my new book? Share this blog, connect and converse with me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Linked In, Goodreads and join my Facebook Book Launch Group by clicking “visit group: on my author page at: https://www.facebook.com/catrinawelchauthor/ where I will be sharing inside info and great giveaways!