My whole world was rocked the day my first husband left me.
Pregnant and alone, his betrayal made me feel ugly, unwanted and self-conscious.
Before then, even though I was a hairdresser, I never really focused on my own appearance because, honestly, I was afraid of being shallow or vain. Suddenly it was a struggle to stand in front of a mirror all day; I became extremely aware of my image.
People sensed my lack of confidence, and since it’s easy to tell a pregnant woman she is beautiful–especially when they knew I was rejected by the man I adored–they told me,
“You’re adorable!” But what resounded in my mind was, “they know you are a throw-away-wife.”
I craved their compliments anyway–especially after my status changed to “single mom” and they were silenced because my big belly was no longer “cute”– so, I set out on a mission to prove myself worthy of attention again. After all, I knew all the tricks of the trade, I was a licensed cosmetologist:
the makeup and spa treatments.
but nothing changed how I felt about myself on the inside.
I call that time in my life the Beauty Battle.
Every woman faces an emotional battle over how she looks at some point in her life. But I didn’t know that, because not every woman handles her confidence conflicts the same way that I did.
I was striving for beauty, but some women hide under oversized sweatshirts, tattoos, or heavy makeup. Others de-value or laugh-off their pain, still others use stimulants, shut down their hearts, work real hard, or focus on everyone else’s needs but their own.
Some women get stuck in the battle with no weapon to fight. They may be determined, defeated, desolate or desperate but, like me, without confidence no matter how well she does her makeup, it’s not pretty.
Maybe you have someone in your life suffering like that and you wish you understood them?
When that was me, I didn’t even understand myself. But, after becoming a certified image consultant, and learning the six styles of beauty I began to recognize that I wasn’t alone, other women felt rejection as deeply as I did simply because not all women are alike.
Not in their appearance,
Not in their dreams or desires.
Understanding this helped me to stop comparing myself to other women (especially the new wife…) in fact it changed my whole outlook on life–especially how I help my clients. While beauty may be something women will spend a lot of time and money on, when it comes to the deep longing in their heart, “only her hairdresser knows for sure.” It’s a hard topic for women to talk about.
That’s why I wrote about it in Confident Beauty; it’s easier to read.
If you know someone who is caught in the Beauty Battle, would you tell them about my book?
There is hope, and every woman deserves to know there is a power and purpose for HER beauty, no matter which style she is!
This weekend the ebook edition of Confident Beauty is on sale for only $1.99, so be sure to download it onto your favorite electronic reading device before Labor Day Weekend is over.
Catrina Welch is an inspirational author and speaker whose personal experience with overcoming rejection, betrayal and loss–as well as her expertise as a cosmetologist, image consultant and Biblical life-coach–is empowering women to BE and LET BE.
Her latest book, CONFIDENT BEAUTY: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, is now available in your favorite bookstores. Autographed copies of all her books are available on her website at www.CatrinaWelch.com